Re: kol isha in action

[Bob Wiener <wiener...>]

Lor (at) Max

It seems to me that if a meal is part of the even, especially if the simcha 
involves a seudat mitzvah ("mitzvah meal") the early departure solution 
typically creates the following problem:
Presence through the birkat hamazon ("grace after meals") (including, for 
example, sheva brachot -- special additional blessings for a wedding) is a 
basic part of the simcha/mitzvah.

Bob

BTW, Avi, my third suggestion was made in an effort to achieve respectful 
conciliation and not as a joke to be laughed at.

----- Original Message ----- 
  From: MaxwellSt (at) aol(dot)com 
  To: World music from a Jewish slant 
  Sent: Friday, February 21, 2003 11:15 AM
  Subject: Re: kol isha in action


  In a message dated 2/21/2003 10:07:21 AM Central Standard Time, lkoenick (at) 
erols(dot)com writes:


    Why is there "uncomfortness" more important that the uncomfortness of those
    who oppose it or are subjected to the discrimination?



  This is a discussion that comes up annually--maybe it would be good to 
archive it for the benefit of those who want to see past discussions.

  I submit--as a woman who was not raised in an Orthodox home or with those 
sensibilities--that it is no more discriminatory to respect Kol Isha at a mixed 
gathering than to serve kosher food.  Unless we wish to drive out all the Jews 
who observe halacha from our simchas, we can't put out a large Unwelcome mat in 
the form of violations of the law.  
  A workable solution, I think, is to observe Kol Isha for the first 2 hours of 
the simcha, and then to permit it (and mixed dancing)--telling the frum guests 
in advance that this will be the format.  The frum guests will have a chance to 
eat and fulfill their mitzvah of dancing at the simcha before leaving, and the 
non-Orthodox will have their wishes respected in the latter half.  This is the 
way we do most of our "mixed" simchas.
  Lori (at) Max