Re: Kol Isha becomes a reality

[TROMBAEDU <TROMBAEDU...>]

In a message dated 3/26/01 9:55:04 AM Eastern Standard Time, 
SCHWARTZESQ (at) worldnet(dot)att(dot)net writes:


> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: <A HREF="mailto:shirona (at) bellatlantic(dot)net">shirona</A> 
> To: <A HREF="mailto:jewish-music (at) shamash(dot)org">World music from a 
> Jewish slant</A> 
> Sent: Sunday, March 25, 2001 1:35 PM
> Subject: Kol Isha becomes a reality
> 
> 
> I have to share this dose of reality...  it finally happened to me.
>  
> I was asked to organize and perform at a private party, an Israeli style 
> Kumzits, with a concert-like presentation of old Israeli ballads, a 
> sing-along, and a keyboard player to accompany me and play throughout the 
> evening.  It was to be at an expensive restaurant, an up-scale event with 
> good money.  Three daughters were organizing this for their mother's 70th 
> birthday.
>  
> Everything was confirmed, dates, fees, program outline... and then it 
> happened.  One of the sisters is married to an orthodox man.  Of course no 
> one thought of this before - but the orthodox man would HAVE to perform the 
> obligatory Kol Isha boycott... Never mind that 98% of the people at the 
> party are non-orthodox - it was a matter of Shlom-bayit, and I was 
> cancelled...   So there it is, alive and well in the year 2001.   The 
> price?  On top of the ideological outrage, it was a serious loss of 
> "Parnasa" for me, and I depend on it for a living.
>  
> Without appropriate words for closing,
>  
> 

There are two issuies involved here. One has to do with your disappointment 
at not booking a gig. The fact that you are not sure that Kol Isha is such a 
crucial factor here is not relevant. Not because it is not an issue worth 
discussing, at length even,  but because the people in question, the 
customers, obviously think it is an important and respectable issue. So what 
is really involved here is the fact that a gig got cancelled. While I am 
sympathetic to the loss of income, I must also say that It is onre of those 
loust things that are common in our business. While it may seem unfair to you 
to base a cancellation on something you think is wrong, it is just as werong 
in the customers mind for a guest not to attend over this issue. If they have 
to choose between family and vendor, they will choose family.
The second point is, how to avoid this?  Well, first of all, one thing that I 
try to do is to take a hefty deposit, with a timing clause regarding 
cancellations within a certain amount of time. Another thing I do is make it 
very clear to potential clients what the instrumentation in the band is going 
to be, and if I am planning to use a female vocalist, I remind them that I 
cannot be responsible for a particular guests objection, so if they think it 
will be a problem, let me know now. You see, the problem here is that there 
is a big difference between booking performances, and booking parties. 
When one books a show, they are entitled to say, this is who I am, if you 
don't wat it, don't hire me. When dealing with customers for private parties, 
customers have a right to expect the band to work within their parameters. 
Its a pain in the neck, but it is true. If the customer says, "by the way, no 
female singers," at least you have the option of saying, "well, I don't agree 
with you, but I guess I can set up an alternative band that will conform to 
your wishes." Or you can say, "Gee, I am the band, and I am a female singer, 
so I guess we can't do business." That way, at least you still have some 
control over the process, and can keep from being ambushed in this way. 
Best of Luck,

Jordan