Re: kol isha

[George Robinson <GRComm...>]

She wants Mozart and you're complaining? Would you prefer maybe Eminem?

By the way, to get back on topic a little, while I won't dispute Reyzl's
observations -- I'm sure she's quite right on this -- there was an
interesting story in the New York Times a month or two ago about the
changing status of women in the NYC Hasidic community. How much change
that involves is open to interpretation, of course, but if it was enough
for the Times to notice it's worth looking at.

George Robinson



Reyzl Kalifowicz-Waletzky wrote:
> 
> Margot,
> 
> I don't know about the slightly more liberal Lubavitch case, where one
> woman in a band was acceptable, but Hasidim don't want _star_ women
> instrumentalists like you Margot to perform.  I would bet any money in the
> world that it wasn't that they didn't like your demo or your playing.
>  There are all kinds of Orthodox communities and one can not always group
> them together on every issue, but almost all Hasidim will not hire a woman,
> because they don't want the girls/women in their community to see bad
> models of womanhood.  And you is a bad model of womanhood, Margot :).  They
> don't want the girls to see Jewish women who are not home- and
> children-centered, working in the evening instead of tending to their
> families, pursuing artistic careers, and, most especially, _enjoying_ those
> attention-filled solos that a wonderful clarinetist like you gets.  I am
> sorry Margot, but your wonderful playing makes you stand out :).  Standing
> out could easily make a woman immodest.  Modesty is an issue, because where
> would the band with a woman be placed, in the women's or the men's section?
>  A woman, and especially a woman star instrumentalist, will also get the
> men looking and fantasizing about her.  Tse, tse, tse.  AND, the fact that
> you are single is especially bad, Margot.  They don't want the girls to see
> any such behavior rewarded in any kind of way.  Seriously, this is the
> community's social control and there is nothing personal about it.  Your
> being an excellent musician IS the problem.  If a woman instrumentalist is
> just adequate and can quietly blend in with the men, without standing out
> in any way, that might be tolerable, if no other bands are available that
> night.   (That's what "it depends" means.)  But your demo clearly shows
> that that you are not _just adequate_.
> 
> A woman travelling with all those men musicians, especially if her husband
> is not one of the men?  Oy, yoy yoy.  All kinds of problems will arise,
> negiya, possible inappropriate social and emotional intimacy between men
> and women, loss on the focus of the mistva of "mesameyakh zayn khosn kale"
> [=creating joy for the bride and groom], etc.  Also, a few very Orthodox
> women have begun entering the working world and this is creating all kinds
> of problems in the frum communities, especially, if those jobs are outside
> the heavily controlled frum venues.  You have to go to the rebbe and have
> his OK for jobs like that, and rebbes rarely OK them.  The rabbis in the
> standard Orthodox communities are losing some control with more and more
> Orthodox women entering the work force.  This is scary across the board.
>  Kids taking drugs and tuning out of Orthodoxy is no longer an unknown/rare
> phenomenon in the Orthodox world.  They recently created a yeshiva for
> these kids in Brooklyn.  They blame these problems of course on the working
> women.
> 
> I know they have a lot of weddings and you could get nightly jobs, but
> forget them, Margot.  Perhaps find the girl yeshivas and the event
> organizers there.  You could get to the women organizations, which
> regularly make women's events and women's melave malkas for you to play at.
>  Those women might, might be more amenable.  Or maybe claim that all your
> musicians are your brothers and cousins :).
> 
> P.S.  Margot and her band played at our daughter's bat mitsva, November
> '99.  That is, after the first hour of Mozart sonatas by a concert pianist
> - music our daughter insisted upon.  We had to insist on klezmer music.  It
> takes all kinds of kids, but, of course, only the kid of a klezmer will ask
> for Mozart sonatas at her bat-mitsva.  Margot was wonderful and all our
> friends loved her.
> 
> Reyzl
> 
> ----------
> From:  Margotlev (at) aol(dot)com [SMTP:Margotlev (at) aol(dot)com]
> Sent:  Tuesday, February 27, 2001 11:38 PM
> To:  World music from a Jewish slant
> Subject:  Re: kol isha
> 
> Robert,
> it's a sensitive question, since we never know for sure why we aren't hired
> -
> maybe they just don't like my clarinet playing.   And there have been some
> occasions where I have been hired by Orthodox and Hassidim, especially in
> smaller cities where it was an issue of male musicians not being available.
> I've asked my male colleagues in NY if would be possible for me to get
> wedding work in those communities in NY and the answer was 'not in this
> lifetime.'   I get inquiries, then the client decides I would not be
> "appropriate" for a job, I explain that I dress modestly and don't sing,
> but
> they still don't hire me - but you never know, maybe they didn't like the
> demo, or maybe another band was cheaper.  It happens all the time and you
> never know the reason for sure.
>  I don't know any women instrumentalists who are working in those
> communities
> in NY, but if they are I would LOVE to know about it  Meanwhile, I've been
> asked to play Carlebach tunes for an upcoming Purim event (on a volunteer
> basis)  and I intend to bring the house down.  Excuse me.  It's a tiny
> crack
> in the door so I'm going to see if I can get my foot in.
> 
>   I was really trying to make the point that it becomes ridiculous for
> religious groups to point the accusing finger of sexism at each other when
> the discrimination has been almost completely universal until very
> recently.
>   Margot
> 

-- 
George Robinson
Author, Essential Judaism
Please visit my website, "Essential Judaism and Beyond"
at www.GeorgeRobinson.freeservers.com

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