Re: Kol Isha Redux

[Sylvia Schildt <creativa...>]

Come now, come now. There's more to Kashrut than eschewing shrimp salad or
Beef Wellington.  It's a whole lot of halakha about the state of the stove,
the pots and pans, what china and silver to use, even for the same dishes
like roast chicken.  I don't think in general that serving kosher is going
to ruin an affair for the non-observant.Except maybe those who feel that
kosher meat is too salty and dry (I'm not one of them).

But back to the wedding as a moshel ...

Half the guests were Black Hats. And their "rules" ruled the wedding
ceremony, seating arrangements, placement of a screen, separate dancing,
etc. - all but the last half hour or so was run their way. This meant that
the rest of us sat on our hands and were decidedly uncomfortable, trying to
put a good face on it for the sake of our relationship to the Bride and her
parents.

This is not equity.


I would not feel this way if I went say to a wedding in Williamsburg or Boro
Park -- as I would be a visitor on their turf. There it would be my place to
conform.


Sylvia Schildt



 3/1/03 8:36 PM, avi finegold at afinegold (at) yahoo(dot)com wrote:

> --- Sylvia Schildt <creativa (at) charm(dot)net> wrote:
> 
>> The trouble comes when the two worlds share one
>> platform, venue or
>> performance situation. And there the pressure to "be
>> sensitive" always
>> weighs in favor of the Orthodox.
> 
> to me this sounds like the old discussions that
> liberal jews used to have when planning their events.
> should they choose whatever caterer they want since
> most peolle attending dont keep kosher anyways, or
> choose an inferior (and for some reason the kosher
> caterer is always inferior) one to respect their more
> religious guests. i know this is an unfair comparison
> for many reasons weve gone through already but let me
> use it one more time. now many people chose (what i
> believe to be) the right choice, and opted for the
> kosher caterer. so what, you couldnt have your shrimp
> salad, so what, the beef wellington will have to wait
> for another time. did anyone starve? did anyone
> complain with true justification that their affair was
> ruined by the kosher food? now think about it in terms
> of a wedding. and im using this because a wedding is
> an event that a) you mentioned and more importantly b)
> all attendees are invited guests. (unlike a public
> concert where anyone can show up) many people choose
> not to offend even a small minority of their guests by
> having mixed dancing and women singing and we have to
> respect their decision. theyve opted to go with the
> lowest common denominator and choose entertainment
> that can be enjoyed by all. because when push comes to
> shove you have to be a real party pooper to say that
> you cant have fun at a wedding where only men are
> singing and where the dancing is separate.
> 
> 
> avi
> 
> 
> 
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