Re: mitzvot music (was Scarborough Fair tune)

[Alex Lubet <lubet001...>]

Actually, I've never been in a situation where the problem was anywhere 
near that complex.  In a case of my own son's bar mitzvah, the music we 
engaged got the times wrong and had to leave early, about the time people 
had finished eating and might have wanted to dance.  Unfortunately, simchas 
tend to get treated his way all too often.  No one family is going to be 
booking the group for all that many simchas and there aren't that many 
people who are going to make a fuss big enough to make a difference.  I, 
however, and sort of person who does and, although my son isn't eager for 
another bar mitzvah, we did get some satisfaction, an apology and a 
reimbursement, enough to feel justice was done.

I'm happy for the empathy this thread has generated.  I suspect that will 
be dealing with this personally again until my daughter's wedding, which, 
given the pattern of late marriages in our family won't be for a 
while.  This is a good thing to, because my wife and I will be able to play 
enough jobs to pay for the next simcha.


At 10:59 AM 7/16/2002 -0400, you wrote:
>On Tue, 16 Jul 2002, Alex J. Lubet wrote:
>
> > Something else has been on my mind that I thought I'd put to the list, 
> since
> > matters relevant to jobbing musicians are a frequent concern.  I'm 
> usually on
> > the jobbing side myself, but not this time.  My son's bar mitzvah was last
> > shabes and there was a bit of a mix-up with the music I engaged.  (I 
> received an
> > apology and things are more or less patched up.)  This is not the first 
> time
> > I've seen tussles of this kind (I'll spare you the details, they don't 
> matter),
> > but the problem seems to be a major cognitive dissonance between those 
> musicians
> > for whom simchas are the bottom of the food chain of what they do 
> (concerts are
> > usually at the top) and those who engage them, for whom b'nai mitzvot, 
> weddings,
> > etc. are singular (one would hope), sacred moments where, G_d willing, 
> all is
> > perfect.  Needless to say, this is not a strictly Jewish issue, nor even an
> > exclusively musical one (at least, it can apply to serious 
> photographers, maybe
> > others), but I wonder what could be done to get everyone on the same 
> page.  Your
> > thoughts?
>
>This is an interesting question because I currently play in a klezmer band
>that just formed in the last year. We had requests for weddings and bar
>mitzvahs, but to this point, have turned them down because we don't know
>enough songs yet, and because it could have put us in a situation where
>things got out of hand quickly.
>
>I have been stressing to my bandmates the importance of making sure that
>every detail for something like this is planned ahead of time. What songs,
>if any, are to be played at what times. Some people have very specific
>thoughts for their special days (processional to one thing, recessional to
>something else, a specific tune for the vows, etc.) while others are happy
>with "something that sounds Jewish." The band (and photographers (I have
>also photographed weddings on a professional basis)) must absolutely get
>together with the people organizing the event and plan it down to the
>minute, if need be ("we want two horas, followed by something faster,
>then hava nagila, and finish with sunrise, sunset. Then you have to
>take requests for two hours"). If they have specific needs, you must be
>able to address them, or decline the job. It sucks to turn down an
>opportunity for money, but if you can't do the job that the organizers
>want, you have to refuse; anything else is unacceptable and
>unprofessional.
>
>As long as you communicate and know the expectations on both sides, you
>should be fine.
>
>-jeremy schiffer
>
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Alex Lubet, Ph. D.
Morse Alumni Distinguished Teaching Professor of Music
Adjunct Professor of American and Jewish Studies
University of Minnesota
100 Ferguson Hall
Minneapolis, MN 55455
612 624-7840 (o)
612 699-1097 (h)
612 624-8001  ATTN:  Alex Lubet (FAX)

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