Absolutely Off Topic: Jewish Guide to Shoveling Snow

[Lori M Simon <lorelecs...>]

Okay, so it's Jewish, it's musical, it's male and female, it's various
Jewish viewpoints, appropriate to our recent discussions.  Enjoy!

love,
Lorele
 
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 Jewish Guide to Shoveling Snow

Ariel Sharon - "The important thing is to shovel the entire width and
breadth of the driveway, regardless of what anyone else thinks."

Ehud Barak - "You must shovel most of the driveway, but the exact
dimensions of shoveling will be determined in discussions with our
neighbors. No wait, you can shovel only in places where snow had
previously fallen, but you cannot shovel in places where no snow had
fallen - wait, don't do any shoveling until you hear from me!"

Yossi Sarid - "You should not shovel any part of the driveway, since you
really do not have any valid historical or legal claim to the driveway,
and it will soon be given back to its rightful owners."

Artscroll Hilchos Sheleg ("Laws Regarding! Snow; Ashkenaz version,
chapter 5) - "First approach the snow with the proper kavanah, meditating
on the concept of snow removal. Recite the "...Who commanded us
concerning the shoveling of snow" benediction," then take three steps
back, bend the knees slightly with feet together, then look at the snow,
lift shovel and dig, turning right and then left, bend knees fully, take
three steps forward and deposit snow deliberately. Repeat until done,
then recite the Sheheheyanu benediction, go indoors and have a hot drink,
remembering to say the
Shehakol brocha (see Artscroll Hilchos on Drinking Hot Liquids)..."

Tikkun Magazine - "What right do we have to violently take snow from its
rightful resting place? Snow has rights: each snowflake is a unique
individual, and we have absolutely no right to do anything with it. Let
the snow decide for itself what it wishes to do, and then if it wishes to
be shoveled, do so humanely."

Rashi - "Snow, this is a form of solid precipitation that cling s to
one's beard if you remain outside too long in the winter season. (Old
French: neige). Shoveling is a Rabbinic precept, based on the verse in
Isaiah 1:18 - "If your sins be like scarlet, they will turn as white as
snows."

Birthright Israel - "It does not matter how the shoveling is done, but
the very act of a young Jew shoveling snow for ten consecutive days,
under proper supervision will have a lifelong impact on Jewish identity."

Meir Ben-Meir (Israeli Water Commissioner) - "Just shovel the snow as
fast as you can, and ship it here. We are running out of water fast! Is
anyone listening to me?"

Judith Plaskow: Whether shoveling snow is an issue of concern to Jewish
feminists, or feminist Jews, is a question we are not yet ready to ask.
Who is to say that once we create a memory of Sinai that includes the
voice of women, whether shoveling will even be the remedy for snow that
we shall seek?

E M Broner: The women sit in the snow and chant. They face East, knowing
that the Holy of Holies was never theirs, yet knowing too that it always
will be theirs. They become wet and cold, sitting in the snow, but as
they imagine the Old Stone House in Jerusalem that contained heat and
cold, gold and ash, darkness and light all at once and in the proper
proportions, they felt neither wet nor cold. The women stand in a circle
and sing. They grab shovels and as their voices rise and fall, the
shovels rise and fall, and the piles of snow rise and fall, and then
Shelegit the Lesbian for Places North says, "Enough with the rising and
falling! It is too male! It is not mine!" The other women embrace her,
sighing, except for the Bad Girl who likes the rising and the falling.
She alone continues to shovel.

Debbie Friedman:
The snow blesses us/
so we greet her flakes the snow purifies us/
so we greet his strength/
the snow is cold/so we seek what is warm/
the snow is harsh/
but we fear no harm.

Marge Piercy:
I am glad to know
That snow is suddenly of my People,
My People always knew snow, first in Michigan in gritty Detroit and
 now in New England
And I have written of snow in the many many many pages
Of poetry and prose
But when I started writing Jewish poems and prayers
 about the sweet challah and the odd sounds of the Amidah
Did I know
That even snow
Could be viewed through the lens of my People
Part of our history
Cold and wet and familiar as my cat's tongue?

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