Re: gelt as opposed to guilt

[Joe Kurland <ganeydn...>]

Although we've never had a situation as extreme as the one Lori described,
it can get confusing sometimes about who is calling the shots.  Many times
we've been hired by the bride and groom, their names are on the contract,
they pay the deposit, but it's a parent who writes the check at the end of
the wedding.  When the bride says one thing and her father says something
else, we try to get them to come to some agreement.  If the bride's name is
on the contract, though, she's responsible even if her father is paying.
If he refused to pay, I would talk to the bride about it.  A father who
refuses to pay because you listened to his daughter, the bride, may have
been looking for an excuse to refuse to pay you.  It would be instructive
to find out if he went on to boast to his friends about how he got your
excellent music for nothing.

My wife, who is a calligrapher, tells of a customer who complained that the
ketuba wasn't perfect and refused to pay the balance, then displayed it and
boasted to friends about getting it without paying for it.


Zayt gezunt (be healthy),

Yosl (Joe) Kurland
The Wholesale Klezmer Band
Colrain, MA 01340
voice/fax: 413-624-3204
http://www.crocker.com/~ganeydn


At 11:50 AM -0500 12/12/1999, MaxwellSt (at) aol(dot)com wrote:
>
>Althought it seems black and white (and probably was indeed a case of
>rudeness), the protocol is for the individual or the band leader to go to the
>person who is writing the check and ask if this would be appropriate.
>
>I (and all the other band leaders, I'm sure) learned the hard way that only
>the person writing the check calls the shots.  How?  The father of the bride
>told me to have klezmorim lead the bride and groom into the room.  The bride
>told us that she did not want this done.  We obliged the bride.  The father
>subsequently refused to pay the band.  Since that time, no matter how benign
>the change from the original plans seems on the bandstand, I always run it by
>the client for their approval--even if it comes from the honorees.
>
>Lori
>Maxwell Street
>


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