Have a Sony day...

[Alex Jacobowitz <alexbjacobowitz...>]

B"H Munich

Philip Roth? Norman Mailer? Saul Bellow?

Are you familiar with any of these gentlemen?
Just wondering... dark threads spew and weave
through my mind now, as much as rays of light
might seep through your northern sky..

Human nature is never as weak as in a bookstore,
the saying goes - and the making of books is
a wearisome task, says Kohelles.

Sigh. We´re now boarding the train to the
Stream of Endless Consciousness, wondering
when our caboose is to be kicked through reality´s
front door.

Caught somewhere between the Deutscho-Teutonic
and Italo-Phallic wars of culture (or lack thereof)
and taste (ditto), a nice Jewish boy wonders
just where he´s supposed to be. Looking around
the plains of Europe, there seems to be great
succor to be drawn from the Alps - anything high
and mighty, at least clearly seen and comes to
a point MUST be superior to the moral morasses
that surround them.

A phone call from Shmuel saves the day. How simple
and lovely. He and Dovid want to know what the
price of cold-pressed olive oil is in Germany - from
their own orchards they produced about 200 half-liters
they want to sell, and are wondering
about bringing them - bodily - to the European
Promised Land (a.k.a. Geltopia) for sale. After 
spying around, I let the brothers not-yet-grim
know that the price ranges betwixt ten and fifteen
Euros per liter, which seems to mildly disappoint
them. I offer to buy, perhaps, ten or twenty bottles.

Shmuel continues - he wants to come to Europe.
He knows that in one year he is to join the Israeli
army, and after that college, etc - he wants to
see the world. He did that with me earlier though -
together, when he was twelve, he joined me
on my European tour. We "did" Venice.
And Paris. And Berlin. Now, almost eighteen, he
wants to do it and appreciate it. I think I know
what he means. A golden opportunity on my part to
"show" him the world of the barbarians, and protect
him while financing the whole thing. Not bad.
Better than him hitchhiking through India, as so
many Israelis do after the army. Who KNOWs what
could happen there....

So we´re talking business. Me and The Boys. Better
than the adolescence - the bitter words "we have
nothing to talk about..." from Dovid. It all
slowly gets better. As Mark Twain said, he
couldn´t stand his father when he was fourteen - his
father was an idiot, an ass. But when he turned
twenty-one, he was surprised just how much the old man
had learned in seven short years.

I´m waiting, and waiting, for SONY. Some wait
for G-d. Others wait for Godot. I wait for a phone
call. Hopefully that SONY in Japan said "yes" to
SONY-Europe, which in turn says "yes" to me. A "yes",
for those who don´t speak SONY (yet) means either
a world-wide or Europe-wide recording, probably
of Bach, and probably part of a three-CD record
contract which (as of last week) might turn
out to be the biggest if not the second-biggest
music company in the world.

"Fantastic". Michael is the head of SONY Germany. He
loved the music when we met in his hypermodern office
in Berlin´s Potsdamer Platz in September. He just
didn´t want to produce it only in Europe. He wanted
either America or Japan to underwrite the project,
making it worldwide. He promised an answer by October
15.

Of course, on October 15 I called him. "Japan hasn´t
answered yet, but they said they´ll get back to me."
Okay. I´m patient. The hell I am.

It´s been a hell of a week. First, on Monday, my CD
company, BMG (No. 5 in the world) finally called to
say that the promised CD - RCA-Victor Red Seal - would
have to be cancelled. Not cancelled, really, but
postponed. That means that in mid-2004 we would talk
again about a release in 2005. My last release was
2002. Buuuuuuummer.

Then on Thursday, the merger of BMG and SONY was
announced. So I was, sorta, kinda hoping that SONY
would give me the good news that BMG didn´t.

Nu? It´s almost November 15. I called Michael.
Of course to congratulate him on the merger.
"Yes," he said in his thick German accent, "vee vill
be much shtronger after ze merger." So, I´m thinking,
maybe Japan will be in an expansive mood. 

I fold into the conversation, oh, so patiently, that
"we" are still waiting for Japan. "Zey have promißed
zat zey vill gif me an anzer zis veek." Well, hope so.
The tension is getting to me. Keep trying to sublimate
it by writing half-senseless emails.

So I´m wondering if SONY loves me, if SONY loves
me not. Yes, they already have a marimba player,
and her tits have already been recruited by the
sales manager, but no, she doesn´t do CLASSIC,
which is what Sony Classics is about.

And I´m thinking about the other things in my life
that have value, the things I love, or don´t love.
Kind of a mid-life crisis experienced solely in
the confines of my virtual waiting room. If SONY
says yes, then my artistic life is (theoretically)
vindicated. If no, well, BMG also said yes, then
no, so who can you trust?

Shmuel tells me during our short call that his
test scores are high enough that he could be
a doctor in the army, but he´s not sure if that´s
what he wants to do - working in a hospital and
being a soldier at the same time. I try to tell
him that he has all the time in the world, he
doesn´t need to decide, he should work hard at
whatever he chooses, but he should choose what
he loves, not be afraid of hard work.

I remind him that at his age, my own mother arranged
for me to talk to someone with the army about my
potential career development. I could be a drummer
with the marine corps, or some such profession. I
declined, and went to music school, and told Shmuel
I wasn´t going to push him ANYWHERE.

Although I´m thinking --- my son, the DOCTOR?
My son - the Israeli soldier? This is SHMUEL
we´re talking about. SHMUEL, who at one
time did little more than spit up rainbows over
my shoulder each and every time I burped him.
Shmuel, who now is big enough to cover half
the world´s ozone hole. Shmuel, who can
spend two weeks shopping to find the "right"
sunglasses.

And here I am, preparing to go to Roma,
to be a street-performer, since the weather should
again allow it. I look forward to four days
in the Roman sunshine, the warm and gentle attitude
of the people there, the kosher restaurants in
Rome´s Jewish quarter. The feeling of timelessness.
Should I take Shmuel with me? Or wait until
SONY Japan rings in with the verdict?

I feel paralysed. So I should have been a writer.
Then I could have writer´s block.

Alex Jacobowitz

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