Re: a tactful way

[winston weilheimer <taxrelief...>]

Sounds like you are describing me, but in my case I am both the lay cantor
and lay rabbi. arguing with myself I have come to the conclusion that I can
not sing out of both sides of my mouth!  :)

One thing that you could do, is to introduce some different melodies.
Explaining to the rabbi that you need to teach them to the congregation and
thus it would give you a chance to be in the "lead".  Perhaps he would get
into the habit of following.

However, sometimes subtitle is not the answer.  Sometimes a frank discussion
(gently and with compassion) is the solution.  If you have a good
relationship with the lay rabbi, then perhaps you could sit with him (her)
and talk about the problem.  The rabbi probably knows that he (she) is
musically, vocally challenged.  Explain that this is upsetting you timing
and your ability to do your job.  Encourage him to "back you up and to sing
in the background as you lead the congregation in prayer. After all, he
(she) would not want you to do anything that would impede his (her) ability
and if he is a mensch he (she) would feel the same.

GOOD LUCK
Winston Weilheimer
Spiritual Leader (lay Rabbi)
Temple Israel of DeLand (fl)


>Let's say there was a lay cantor and a rabbi.
>
>The rabbi had a powerful voice and enjoyed singing with great ruach, but
>sang off key.
>
>The congregation would usually sing along if they knew the piece, but they
>didn't know a lot of the music.
>
>On a number of occasions, the lay cantor would be singing and the rabbi
>would join in loudly and off key and/or off-rhythm. The rabbi's very loud
>voice almost dominated over the cantor's medium-loud voice. Especially
>frustrating was when the lay cantor was trying to slow down and arrive at a
>graceful ending, whereas the rabbi loudly kept the faster pace and ended
>sooner and discordantly.
>
>It seemed that the lay cantor was not really getting to LEAD the
>congregation, but seemed to be co-leading in a defacto way.
>
>The lay cantor had great respect for the rabbi, and understood that the
>rabbi loved to sing and sang especially loudly when moved. Also, sometimes
>the rabbi would sing loudly because the congregation was not chiming in, so
>the rabbi was "making up the difference".
>
>The lay cantor tried to discuss the issue in a very delicate way with the
>rabbi, not wanting to sound like a self-centered artiste. The lay cantor
>said "Please continue singing but don't drown me out." The rabbi agreed but
>nothing changed.
>
>The lay cantor seeks advice.
>
>
>
>
>Amy Loewenthal
>Math Tutor Coordinator
>Student Support Services, Centralia College
>(360) 736-9391 x547
>