[HANASHIR:11147] Re: Q about kids vs. kavanah

[WINSTON WEILHEIMER <nusach...>]

this is a problem that happens.  and it really is the responsibilty of the 
rabbi to take these parents aside and explain to them that they need to 
control their kids during this service.  HOWEVER...IF the parents brought 
their kids EVERY friday night, and not only on special occatiions, the kids 
would begin to learn how to behave and what was expected of them.

I had this problem and there were members of the congregation who wanted to 
tell the parents NOT to bring small children because they were running up 
and down the isle and were being generally disruptive.  it has to come from 
the rabbi, not the members of the board or the congregation to work.  And 
the rabbi has to be sensitive to the feelings of the parents or you will 
loose them.

There are times that new people come or that a two year old gets "antsy"
We had a bar/bat mitzvah service several weeks ago that this happened.  
After it "got to me" I simply made the general announcement (there were lots 
of kids that night) that we would now have a time to meditate as families 
and that all children were to return to their parents, and all parents were 
to gather their children to silently meditate together and in doing so as a 
congregation we could all gain in our collective kavanah...then i asked 
everyone to rise and meditate silently.  the parents with the unruly kids 
got the message!  some took theirs outside for a few minutes to allow 
everyone to meditate and others just gathered them under their arms or held 
their hands.

The role of the rabbi during a service, in addition to being a spiritual 
leader, is also that of analogous to a conductor, or stage director.  Some 
rabbis learn this and others just get flustered.

anyhow...that's how i handle it!




Rabbi Winston Weilheimer
Host/OWNER
NUSACH INTERNET RADIO NETWORK
Nusach, THE ORIGINAL SOUL MUSIC!
http://www.angelfire.com/art2/nusach/


_________________________________________________________________
MSN Photos is the easiest way to share and print your photos: 
http://photos.msn.com/support/worldwide.aspx

------------------------ hanashir (at) shamash(dot)org -----------------------+