Re: JEWISH-MUSIC digest 1816

[Susan Lerner <meydele...>]

At 12:11 AM 2/20/01 -0500, you wrote:
> From: "WINSTON WEILHEIMER"
> <nusach (at) hotmail(dot)com>
> To: World music from a Jewish slant 
> <jewish-music (at) shamash(dot)org>
> Subject: kol isha
> Date: Mon, 19 Feb 2001 23:10:44 -0500
> Mime-Version: 1.0
> Content-Type: text/plain; format=flowed
> Message-ID: <F30NpqhNPPzQT456UnH000053ae (at) hotmail(dot)com>
>
> just curious.....would the women out there who are offended by the kol
> isha issue, also choose NOT to attend an event where men were excluded,
> like the women's seder?

Okay, Winston, you hit the hot button issue in my household.  I
generally hold a women's sedar on the last night of Pesach, using a
hagaddah of my own devising.  Last year, there were 22 of us. 
The first year, we had 3 pre-adolescent sons join us (really a childcare
issue), but the next year, seeing as how it was all women talking about
female ancestors, they refused to come. The first 2 years I held this
sedar, my husband was working out-of-town.  When that job ended and
he was home, we had several in depth discussions about whether to
continue the newly-formed tradition.  I have continued the women's
sedar.  It is more a question of righting the imbalance and
exclusion which many women feel in response to restrictions such as Kol
Isha in traditional Judaism.  But I am beginning to move towards the
position of continuing the last night sedar with a mixed group, using the
hagaddah which celebrates our figurative and literal foremothers, because
I think men need the education.  

I have come to the position that there are times that single sex groups
are important for the convening group. And that includes my husband's
semi-monthly steak and cigar dinners (ugh).  But as one of the
posters said earlier (with 50+!! postings for this day's digest version,
excuse me for forgetting who), it's more a question of how the decision
is reached and the impetus behind it.  Those who feel they are in a
weak position may need to gather together more frequently to empower and
develop solidarity.  

But there have been times where I have chosen not to attend feminist
events where men were discouraged.  The conference I have planned
for Yiddishkayt Los Angeles, di froyenshtimen/Women's Yiddish
Voices, (which is this coming week-end!) not only encourages male
attendees but includes male speakers.

Shira Lerner

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