Who Wants to be a Jewish Millionaire? [HUMOR]

[Hope Ehn Dennis Ehn <ehn...>]

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Mon, 22 May 2000 17:07:43 -0400
From: Fred Cohen

OY, WHO WANTS TO BE A JEWISH MILLIONAIRE?

For $100:
Which of these names is least likely to be found at temple?
 A. Cohen
 B. Rosenberg
 C. Schwartz
 D. Christensen

For $200:
The term "Bloomies" refers to...
 A. Underpants
 B. A wonderful store
 C. Flowers
 D. The British

For $300:
The person your therapist is most likely to hear about is...
 A. Your boss
 B. Your roommate
 C. Your mother
 D. Your dog

For $400:
How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
 A. One
 B. Four
 C. Three
 D. None, I'll just sit here in the dark.

For $500:
The most disturbing thing about the TV show "Friends" is that...
 A. Monica needs a meal
 B. Rachel needs a haircut
 C. Joey needs a brain
 D. Ross and Monica are siblings, but Monica is so obviously gentile and
    Ross is so obviously Jewish. 

For $1,000:
You should call your mother...
 A. Every single day
 B. Weekly
 C. Monthly
 D. Annually

For $2,000:
Your son will be least likely to become...
 A. A doctor
 B. A lawyer
 C. A fireman
 D. A rabbi

For $4,000:
Houserobe is to Slippers as Little Black Dress is to...
 A. Heels
 B. Sandals
 C. Sneakers
 D. A Nice Pair of Prada Slides

For $8,000:
Murphy Brown's producer was...
 A. Miles Silverberg
 B. Simon Goldenstein
 C. Brian Rosengold
 D. David Bergsteiner

For $16,000:
Which of the following comedians is not Jewish but could be?
 A. Jon Stewart
 B. Billy Crystal
 C. Robin Williams
 D. Ben Stiller

For $32,000:
Fill in the blank: During the summer, I go _____ the shore.
 A. Up
 B. To
 C. See
 D. Down

For $50,000:
What popular game is played by many Jewish college students?
 A. Chutzpah and Ladders
 B. Pin the Tallis on the Rabbi
 C. Go Gefilte Fish
 D. Jewish Geography

For $100,000:
Which of the following is not a traditional bagel variety?
 A. Poppy
 B. Sesame
 C. Onion
 D. Asagio Cheese

For $250,000:
Which food is least likely to appear in a Jewish Deli?
 A. A Knish
 B. Matzoh Ball Soup
 C. Corned Beef on Rye
 D. Beef Wellington

For $500,000:
When preparing a meal for a family of five, the actual number of people
you should prepare food for is: 
 A. 5
 B. 6
 C. 8
 D. The population of Long Island.

For $1,000,000:
What celebrity told Oprah her favorite present was a mezuzah she got from
her grandmother? 
 A. Sally Field
 B. Gwyneth Paltrow
 C. Cameron Diaz
 D. Angelina Jolie

ARE THESE YOUR FINAL ANSWERS? CHECK THEM AGAINST THE ANSWER KEY BELOW. 
       $100 = D
       $200 = B
       $300 = C
       $400 = D
       $500 = D
     $1,000 = A
     $2,000 = C
     $4,000 = D
     $8,000 = A
    $16,000 = C
    $32,000 = D
    $50,000 = D
   $100,000 = D
   $250,000 = D
   $500,000 = D
 $1,000,000 = B

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