Re: Who Wants to be a Jewish Millionaire? [HUMOR] (O, Schastlivchik!)

[Sofia V. Shneider <soph...>]

Hope Ehn Dennis Ehn wrote:
> 
> ---------- Forwarded message ----------
> Date: Mon, 22 May 2000 17:07:43 -0400
> From: Fred Cohen
> 
> OY, WHO WANTS TO BE A JEWISH MILLIONAIRE?
> 
> For $100:
> Which of these names is least likely to be found at temple?
>  A. Cohen
>  B. Rosenberg
>  C. Schwartz
>  D. Christensen
> 
> For $200:
> The term "Bloomies" refers to...
>  A. Underpants
>  B. A wonderful store
>  C. Flowers
>  D. The British
> 
> For $300:
> The person your therapist is most likely to hear about is...
>  A. Your boss
>  B. Your roommate
>  C. Your mother
>  D. Your dog
> 
> For $400:
> How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
>  A. One
>  B. Four
>  C. Three
>  D. None, I'll just sit here in the dark.
> 
> For $500:
> The most disturbing thing about the TV show "Friends" is that...
>  A. Monica needs a meal
>  B. Rachel needs a haircut
>  C. Joey needs a brain
>  D. Ross and Monica are siblings, but Monica is so obviously gentile and
>     Ross is so obviously Jewish.
> 
> For $1,000:
> You should call your mother...
>  A. Every single day
>  B. Weekly
>  C. Monthly
>  D. Annually
> 
> For $2,000:
> Your son will be least likely to become...
>  A. A doctor
>  B. A lawyer
>  C. A fireman
>  D. A rabbi
> 
> For $4,000:
> Houserobe is to Slippers as Little Black Dress is to...
>  A. Heels
>  B. Sandals
>  C. Sneakers
>  D. A Nice Pair of Prada Slides
> 
> For $8,000:
> Murphy Brown's producer was...
>  A. Miles Silverberg
>  B. Simon Goldenstein
>  C. Brian Rosengold
>  D. David Bergsteiner
> 
> For $16,000:
> Which of the following comedians is not Jewish but could be?
>  A. Jon Stewart
>  B. Billy Crystal
>  C. Robin Williams
>  D. Ben Stiller
> 
> For $32,000:
> Fill in the blank: During the summer, I go _____ the shore.
>  A. Up
>  B. To
>  C. See
>  D. Down
> 
> For $50,000:
> What popular game is played by many Jewish college students?
>  A. Chutzpah and Ladders
>  B. Pin the Tallis on the Rabbi
>  C. Go Gefilte Fish
>  D. Jewish Geography
> 
> For $100,000:
> Which of the following is not a traditional bagel variety?
>  A. Poppy
>  B. Sesame
>  C. Onion
>  D. Asagio Cheese
> 
> For $250,000:
> Which food is least likely to appear in a Jewish Deli?
>  A. A Knish
>  B. Matzoh Ball Soup
>  C. Corned Beef on Rye
>  D. Beef Wellington
> 
> For $500,000:
> When preparing a meal for a family of five, the actual number of people
> you should prepare food for is:
>  A. 5
>  B. 6
>  C. 8
>  D. The population of Long Island.
> 
> For $1,000,000:
> What celebrity told Oprah her favorite present was a mezuzah she got from
> her grandmother?
>  A. Sally Field
>  B. Gwyneth Paltrow
>  C. Cameron Diaz
>  D. Angelina Jolie
> 
> ARE THESE YOUR FINAL ANSWERS? CHECK THEM AGAINST THE ANSWER KEY BELOW.
>        $100 = D
>        $200 = B
>        $300 = C
>        $400 = D
>        $500 = D
>      $1,000 = A
>      $2,000 = C
>      $4,000 = D
>      $8,000 = A
>     $16,000 = C
>     $32,000 = D
>     $50,000 = D
>    $100,000 = D
>    $250,000 = D
>    $500,000 = D
>  $1,000,000 = B
It reminds our TVprogram "O, Schastlivchik!" (O, Happy Person!) which
exists in Russia and its showman is Dmitri Dibrov who maybe is Jew.
Sophia,
Russia

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