JEWISH DICTIONARY [*HUMOR*]

[Hope Ehn Dennis Ehn <ehn...>]

---------- Forwarded message ----------
Date: Thu, 8 Jul 1999 18:15:35 -0700 (PDT)
From: Varda Ullman Novick
Subject: JEWISH DICTIONARY

[Forgive if this is not new]
From: Garry Margolis
Forwarded by "brian howard"

BLINTZKRIEG. A late-night assault on the refrigerator in search of
leftovers even though "I won't be able to eat for a week!" Particularly
common 4 to 6 hours after special occasion gluttony. 

BUBBEGUM. Candy one's mother gives to her grandchildren that she never
gave to her own children. 

CHUTZPAPA. A father who wakes his wife at 4:00 a.m. so she can change the
baby's diaper. 

DEJA NU. Having the feeling you've seen the same exasperated look on your
mother's face, but not remembering exactly when. 

DISKVELLIFIED. To drop out of law school, med school or business school,
as seen through the eyes of parents, grandparents, and Aunt Sara. (In
extreme cases, simply choosing to major in art history when Rose's
daughter, Sally, is majoring in biology, is sufficient grounds for
diskvellification)

DISORIYENTA. When Aunt Sadie gets lost in a department store and strikes
up a conversation with everyone she passes. 

JEWDO. A traditional form of self defense based on talking one's way out
of a tight spot. 

JEWBILATION. Pride in finding out that one's favorite celebrity is Jewish. 

MATZILATION. Smashing a piece of matzo to bits while trying to butter it. 

MINYASTICS. Going to incredible lengths and troubles to find a tenth
person to complete a minyan. 

RE-SHTETLEMENT. Moving from Brooklyn to Miami and finding that all your
old neighbors live in the same condo as you. 

ROSH HASHANANA. A rock 'n roll band from Brooklyn. 

SANTASHMANTA. The explanation Jewish children get for when they celebrate
Hannukah while the rest of humanity celebrates Christmas. 

TORAHFIED. Inability to remember one's lines when called to read from the
Torah at one's bar or bat mitzvah. 

YIDENTIFY. To be able to determine ethnic origins of celebrities even
though their names might be St. John, Curtis, Davis, or Taylor.



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