[HANASHIR:4002] Re: nervous singer

[Ellen Allard <ellen...>]

Carol,

It's perfectly normal to be nervous, especially if you've just begun singing
in front of people, particularly in a temple setting where there are religious
leaders who have had many years of training to help them find their place on
the bima. Don't be so hard on yourself. Just know that with practice and
experience, you'll find your "voice" and your comfort level. And you'll
probably wonder why you were ever nervous!

One of the things that helps a lot, though can be difficult to do, is to set
boundaries for yourself and to make sure that others know what they are. If
being asked to sing at the last minute causes you a lot of anxiety, then let
the powers that be know that you need advance notice, even if only a day. If
you're not an experienced songleader or performer, it's intimidating to just
"whip" something up at the last minute.

Sometimes the different melodies can be confusing. I am an experienced
musician and though I can sing many songs without sheet music, there are times
when I know I need it, if for nothing else than the first few notes of a song.
In fact, as silly as this might sound, when I was first learning to play and
songlead the Friday night blessings for candles, wine, and bread, I used sheet
music. And even when I began doing it without the music, I employed techniques
to help me remember certain melodies that eluded me. For example, humming the
beginning to "The Farmer in the Dell" helped me to remember the beginning of
the blessing for wine! Go figure.

Be careful not to overextend yourself. If you're nervous on the bima, then
you're better off leading/singing songs that you are absolutely comfortable
doing. Then build up to the more difficult songs.

It does take awhile to build up your fingers for playing the guitar. Those
callouses are important. Just be patient with yourself. I thought I would
NEVER be able to bar any chords or least any chords that wouldn't make people
plug up their ears. And who knew....now I can actually play most barred chords
and they sound decent! And the learning doesn't stop either. I've been playing
guitar for about 20 years and I just learned how to bar a B flat high up on
the fretboard. And I can almost get to it quickly!

Hope this helps. In any case, applaud yourself for sharing music with others.
And remember that people are always if not outwardly, then quietly cheering
you on. An audience or congregration wants you to succeed. And you're singing
holy songs, a blessing indeed! What could be better?!!!

Good luck.

Ellen Allard
Worcester, MA

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