Re: Purim is Coming

[Klepper <d-klepper...>]

CHaverim:

These are my favorite Puirm parodies - hope they are helpful.  (We're doing
a Beatle spoof this year). Yes, Larry, please post your collection!

Jeff Klepper


>I saved all the purim songs that were email'd last year.  I think it
>was on the soc.culture.jewish list, but it could have been another
>list.  Anyway, I would be happy to post them here as well as on the
>reshet list, too.
>
>---Larry Mayer
>

PURIM PARODIES
edited by J. Klepper

BEATLE PARODIES

To the tune of 'YOUR MOTHER SHOULD KNOW' words by J. Klepper

Let's all get up and sing out a tune
That was a hit before, the cantor could croon
Though it was sung a long long time ago
The Cantor should know

Let's all get up and daven a prayer
That was a hit before, when the rabbi had hair
Though it was sung a long long time ago
The Rabbi should know

To the tune of 'I WANT TO HOLD YOUR HAND' (Haman's Song)
words by Cantor Aviva Rosenbloom

Oh yeah I'll tell you something, and if it  makes you frown
When I say that something, I want you to bow down
I want you to bow down, I want you to bow down

And then you'll say to me: You ought to wear the crown
And after you agree, I want you to bow down
I want you to bow down, I want you to bow down

And when you grovel I feel happy inside
It's such a feeling that my hate - I can't hide, I can't hide, I can't hide

Oh I've got that something, I'm boss of Shushan town
When I say that something: I want you to bow down
I want you to bow down, I want you to bow down


To the tune of 'With A Little Help From My Friends'
words by the Baruch family, Los Angeles, CA

Esther:
What will you do, now you know I'm a Jew
Will you get up and walk out on me
Lend me your scepter and I'll sing you a song
About why all the Jews must be free

Oh we'll get by with a little help from the King
We won't cry with a little help from the King
Haman will die with a little help from the King

What will you do, when the Jews go away
Does it worry you that I'll be gone?
Now that you know Haman hates the Jews so
You can help us make sure we live on

King: Will there be Hamantoshen?
Esther: Not for a thousand more years
King: What then will you be noshin?
Esther: Little sweets we call 'Haman's ears'

Esther: Why are there people who hate us, O King
King: I can see now that it happens all the time
Esther: Help us right now and we'll stop suffering
King: Evil Haman will have to resign!



To the tune of 'OBLADI OBLADA' words by Cantor Aviva Rosenbloom

Achashverosh is the king in Shushan town
Haman his advisor is so mean
Mordechai's the Jewish guy who won't bow down
And then there's Vashti, now it's Esther as the Queen

        Me-gi-la, Me-gi-la, Me-gi-la la - it's all in the Me-gi-la

Esther was selected to be Persia's Queen
Didn't tell the king she is a Jew
Mordechai said she must be the go-between
And tell the truth or else the Jews will all be through (chorus)

        Achasverosh the king couldn't sleep at all one night...
        When he heard about how Mordy saved his life
        He started to see the light

Mordechai is riding on the king's white horse
Haman has to lead him so he's mad
Esther tells the king and saves the Jews of course
And Haman's history so everybody's glad! (chorus)

To the tune of 'YESTERDAY' words  by Rabbi Eddie Goldberg

Esther's Day is when Jewish folks will have their say
And cru-el Haman will just go away
O we believe in Esther's Day

Mordechai says that we don't really have to die
Now that's just a lot of cha-zer-ai
So have the King tell Haman, "Bye"

Why we're hated so
We don't know - and who can say?
Esther, help us now
When our skies are dark and grey-ay-ay-ay

Esther's Day is when Haman will be sent away
Or forever we will say oy vey
O we believe in Esther's Day
We believe in Esther's Day


To the tune of 'HEY JUDE' words anonymous

Hey Jews, you can't refuse
This is Purim your special day
Remember to have a very good time
With thanks to Esther and Mordechai

Hey Jews, don't be afraid
We've been taught to bow down never
How clever to always give it your best
And never rest, till our world is better

        And anytime you're feeling low
        Hey Jews you know
        The Hamans can't win cause they're all hateful
        So wear a mask and make some noise
        All girls and boys
        Recall and retell the Scroll of Esther (na na na na...)

Hey Jews, let's all be brave
Tell the story and thank our heroes
Remember to never hide who you are
Then you can start to make life better (better, better..etc)

Na, na, na, na na na na, na na na na, Hey Jews


PETER PAUL & MARY PARODIES
Words By Jeff Klepper © 1994

To the tune of 'I DIG ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC'

Oh I dig, Chassidic music
I can really get the chance to pray (and daven)
I think it's the most heimishe sound goin' down today
And when I hear that nigun
I just can't keep from singing
I wish that I could shrai it all day

I dig Mordechai ben David,
Shlomo Carlebach and all of those guys
They sing with such kavoneh they bring teardops right to my eyes
And when they're really wailin'
Their ruach gets me sailin'
And I forget what planet I'm on!

(Oy, oy, dai dai dai dai....etc.)


To the tune of 'LEMON TREE'

When I was just a lad of ten
My mother said to me
The secret of the Hamantosh
Is the lovely poppy seed
So I travelled all around the world
Hoping I might see
The perfect hamantoshen
Filled with lovely poppy seeds

        Poppy seeds very pretty
        Make the Hamantoshen sweet
        But the ones made by my mother
        Are impossible to eat  (repeat)


To the tune of 'BAMBOO

You take a stick of butter
You mix it with the flour
You put it in the oven and you bake it half an hour
Ha...haman...toshen

Poppy, prune, so fine
Taste better, with Shabbos wine

To the tune of 'IF I HAD A HAMMER'

If I had a sidur, I'd daven in the morning
I'd daven in the evening, all over this shul
I'd daven mincha, I'd daven ma'ariv
I'd daven shacharit with my tallis and tefillin
All over this shul (oo)

If I had a megilla, I'd read it in the evening
I'd read it in the morning, all over this shul
I'd read about Esther, I'd read about Mordechai
I'd read about the way they saved all of our people
All over Shushan (oo)

If I had a gregger, I'd shake it in the morning
I'd shake it in the evening, all over this shul
I'd listen intently, to the whole megilla
I'd shake it as loud as I could when they get to Haman's name, yea
All over this shul (oo)

We've got a megilla, and we've got greggers
And we're gonna boogie, tonight all over this shul
We're gonna march in costumes
We're gonna sing those Purim tunes
We're gonna have some fun till the evening's done
All over this shuuuuuuuuul!

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To the tune of TUMBALALAIKA - lyrics by Ann Abrams (edited by JK)

Drink - a - la (2) drink - a - l'-cha-yim (repeat)
Drink - a - l'-cha-yim, drink lots of ya-yin
(But) never drink mayim, drink - a - l'-cha-yim

Achashverosh you're really so gross
Why can't you learn to be a good host
Your request to the queen is really obscene
It wasn't too keen, why be so mean? (chorus)

Vashti Vashti your husband's a lush-ti
They say that in bed, he's really quite rusty
If he uses force, I'd get a divorce
And feel no remorse, why beat a dead horse? (chorus)

Haman, Haman, yourself you are shamin'
When all of your troubles on the Jews you are blamin'
Your plans are diffuse, you've dealt your last deuce
And for all your abuse, all you'll get is a noose! (chorus)

Esther, Esther why do you pester
To be a queen is much like a jester
Make the king cry, he might make you die
So tickle his thigh, and don't question why (chorus)

Mordechai, Mordechai, you there's no stopping
You spend your days, full time evesdropping
One thing is clear, you've got a good ear
And you never need fear to be without a career! (chorus)


To the tune of DOWNTOWN - lyrics by Ann Abrams

When you're alone and life is making you lonely
You can always go - to Shushan
Don't hang around and let your troubles surround you
There are feasts for all - in Shushan

Just listen to the music of the sound of glasses clinking
Linger in the palace where A-chash-vei-rosh is drinking
How can you lose?

The wine is much sweeter there
You can forget all your troubles, forget all your cares (So go to)
Shushan - a great vacation spot
Shushan - a camel in every lot
Shushan - Shushan is waiting for you!