Jewish Chanukah Classic

[Klezcorner <Klezcorner...>]

Not only did Jews write the great Xmas songs, but such classics poetry at the 
following..I've heard that someone actually crated a Xmas poem based on this 
Timeless Jewish piece of literature...is that true??
Happy Chanukah!
Putting  the "Ch" back into Chanukah
Simon


      'Twas the night before Hanukkah
      and all over the place
      There was noise, there was kvetching
      Soch ah disgrace! 


      The Kinderlach, sleeping, 
      uneasily felt
      The chocolate rush 
      from the Hanukkah gelt 




      And me in the easyboy, 
      so stuffed with latkes,
      I stretched the elastic 
      which held up my gatchkes. 


      When up on the roof 
      (and it has a steep pitch)
      A fat alte kakker 
      was making a kvitsch. 



      I jumped up real quick 
      and I ran to the door,
      Was it a bandeet, 
      or only a schnorrer? 

      He wasn't alone; 
      he had eight ferdelach,
      And called them by name 
      as he gave a gebrach: 

      "On Moishe, on Yankel, on Itzik, on Sam,
      On Mendel, on Shmendrik, on Feivush, on Ham;
      My kidneys are kvelling; 
      do you give a damn?" 

      He had a white beard 
      and payyes to boot,
      And to keep out the cold, 
      he had such a nice suit! 

      A second from Peerless, 
      I could tell at a glance,
      But the cut was okay, 
      and so were the pants. 

      He was triple XL, 
      a real groisser goof,
      So I yelled out, 
      "Meshuggener! Get off from Mein roof!" 


      He jumped down and said 
      as he shook hands with me,
      "Max Klaus is the name. 
      You have maybe some tea?" 

      So I gave him a gleisel, 
      while he shook his white mop,
      Mutt'ring, "Always the same thing,
      They're dreying my kopp!" 


      From Vancouver to Glacer Bay, 
      Outremont to Reginek,
      Every shmo in the world 
      hakks meir a cheinik! 



      They're screaming for presents, 
      and challah with schmaltz,
      And from Brooklyn alone, 
      the back pain, gevaltz!" 


      So we sat and yentehed, 
      and we spun the old dreydels,
      (He took all of my money, 
      and one of my kanidels) 


      He said, "Business is not bad, 
      a living I make,
      But I'm getting too old 
      for this Hanukkah fake; 


      And the cell phones, you see 
      how my pacemaker dings?
      For two cents I'd quit, 
      and move to Palm Springs?" 


      And he gave a geshrei 
      as he fled mit a lacht,
      "Gut Yontiff to All, 
      Vey is Mir, Such a Nacht!"

      ~Author Unknown~

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