It's called Vmeste

[Joshua Horowitz <horowitz...>]

Entering a hotel at 1:00 a.m. after playing a concert in Luzern,
Switzerland, we had the following gruelling conversation:

Horowitz: We have reservations for 5 rooms under the name ?Horowitz,¹ or
under the group name ?Budowitz¹ for one night.
Clerk: I have nothing registered here under either.
H: Perhaps it¹s under the name of the International Music Festival of
Luzern, then.
C: No, I don¹t see it under that name either. Which country are you from?
H: Well, we¹re all from different countries, America, England and Hungary.
C: No, the only thing I have here is under the name, ³Israel Kletzner².
H: Oh, that must be us then.
C: But you¹re not from Israel are you?
H: No, but some people think our music is from there.
C: Why would you be listed as being from there?
H: We were incorrectly placed there because we are a Jewish music group.
C: So, who is Kletzner?
H: Noone. Our music is called ³Klezmer Music.² It¹s another name for Jewish
music.
C: So you do come from Israel then.
H: No. We come from America, England and Hungary.
C: I¹m sorry. I will need an affirmation on this. Who made the reservation?
H: The promoter of the festival.
C: Then I shall have to call him, as nothing in our registration matches up
to your description of yourselves.
H: I¹m afraid he¹ll be asleep. It¹s 1:30 am. Look, try to understand. There
are 5 rooms booked and we are 5 people. We play Jewish music, so someone put
us down as being Israeli; People often make that error because our ancestors
2000 years ago came from there. The music we play is called ?Klezmer,¹ so
they misspelled it as ?Kletzner¹ because German speakers pronounce the soft
?z¹ as a ?t-z¹, and someone hit the ?n¹ instead of the ?m¹ when misspelling
the word because they are situated right next to each other on the
typewriter. No other Jewish groups containing 5 members are claiming rights
to the rooms you¹ve reserved tonight and we¹re all carrying our instruments.
Aren¹t there enough suspicious similarities there to justify giving us our
keys and letting us sleep now?
C: Perhaps, sir, but there is another problem.
H: What might that be?
C: I have the 'Israel Kletzner' down here for 3 nights, scheduled for 3
nights ago. Noone showed up 3 nights ago...

For those who can read Russian, rush in your requests to order the latest
article in a series written by Josh Horowitz on playing Jewish music in the
German speaking countries, unimaginatively entitled:

Geld For Guilt
Written by Joshua Horowitz, translated by Inna Gerlovina

Vmeste no. 3 (57) March 2002.
1850 Tice Valley Blvd.
Walnut Creek, CA. 94595
tel 510 704-7475

Since the edited version of this misanthropic series does not exist in any
other language other than Russian, anyone wishing to obtain a copy in
English is cordially invited to refrain from asking. Josh



---------------------- jewish-music (at) shamash(dot)org ---------------------+