chicken tales

[Helen Winkler <winklerh...>]

Before the chicken thread dies (and die it must at some point)  I would like 
to see it hit the big screen.  Here are some plot lines that I?m sure would 
be blockbusters:

Dances with Chickens
A tale of a young man?s quest to find himself by living in a chicken coop 
for a year (you know listening to chicken music, dancing like a chicken, 
learning to cluck etc. etc.)

The Sound of Chickens
A young British governess who is also a chicken impersonator goes to live 
with a rich family in Switzerland.  They are captivated by her clucking and 
together form a choir known as the Von Cluck family choir.  They travel 
through Europe and America wowing audiences with their fabulous clucking, 
cockadoodle-doing and scratching.

Chicken on the Roof
The story of a Russian Jewish milkman who decides to become a chicken 
farmer.  He finds one of his chickens is actually a talented violinist who 
loves to perch on the roof the house and plays nothing but reggae music with 
klezmer ornamentation at half speed.  The milkman finds himself unable to 
ever listen to schmaltzy songs again because it is disrespectful to chickens 
(after all, where does schmaltz come from?) and besides that he likes reggae 
better.  He becomes a vegetarian and goes on to live in a commune growing 
fava beans and practising meditation.

Gorgl
The story of a chicken who wishes to become a klezmer musician.  At that 
time, being a klezmer was strictly a  male occupation so the chicken must 
disguise herself to look like a rooster.  She falls in love with the tuba 
player in the kapelye but he ignores her as all he cares about is his tuba.  
The movie ends in tragedy.  One day while skinny dipping without her rooster 
costume on, the chicken meets the young Colonel Sanders (taking a trip 
through Poland) and well, the rest is history.


Hollywood here I come.
Helen
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