Wedding rituals

[Paul M. Gifford <PGIFFORD...>]

Khupenikes (at) aol(dot)com wrote:
> 
> Michael Alpert and I played it at Yale, leading Rebecca Taichman's parents 
> home after opening night's party. (Well, this was in fact a 21st century 
> version: we were only accompanying them to the cab next corner...)

This is how it's done in contemporary Bucharest at Gypsy weddings, 
unless the church is nearby. The musicians play on the sidewalk 
outside the apartment building for a little dancing, then the wedding 
party enters the taxi cabs to go to the photographer before going to 
the church.

All the talk of wedding rituals is quite interesting. I wonder how 
much of the Eastern European Jewish wedding ritual was specifically 
Jewish (prescribed by scripture or religious tradition) and how much
was common to Eastern and Central Europe, regardless of religion? 

For example, I've read about the bridal hair-pleating ceremony, and 
something like that was described in a 1790s description of a Jewish 
wedding in Podolia. The Gypsy (or lautari) wedding in Bucharest I 
attended started off in the morning with the bride at home, in front 
of a mirror, grooming herself. Two musicians (accordion and guitar) 
were present, one singing a ritual song that also accompanies the 
"babushka" ceremony at the end of the dancing (which, I am told, is 
also common to Ukrainian weddings). In Dearborn, Michigan, I was at a 
Gypsy wedding (this group's origins are in eastern Slovakia, c.1880-
1910) with exactly the same thing---though the dresser and mirror 
were placed in the living room of the house. The musicians (several 
violins, cimbalom, two basses) played on the front porch and front 
yard. But in both Bucharest and Dearborn the weddings are now reduced 
to one long (maybe 20 hour) day.  In Bucharest Tuesday is the 
preferred day for lautari weddings, because the musicians are most 
likely to have that free and to be able to show up (they play for 
free but hope to get tips).

Yesterday I happened to read Lawrence Welk's autobiography 
_Wunnerful, Wunnerful_ (1971) where he talks about the three-day 
weddings of the Black Sea Germans in the teens in North Dakota, 
playing at the in- laws, etc. Josh Horowitz once mentioned about the 
custom of tantsgeld, and this sounds very similar to Volga German 
practice, where the person put a coin on the Hackbrett/Zimbal for 
each dance, or for three dances. 

Another similarity----I was at a Romanian wedding in Chicago where 
the couple was from Maramures. The wedding banquet featured a woman 
who chanted rhymed, off-color couplets. After each, which drew a lot 
of laughs from the crowd, the clarinetist (who was the leader of the 
musicians) would play the same short tune. This must have gone on for 
ten minutes. I wonder if this relates to the badkhn's activity? 
Needless to say, the meal was accompanied by plenty of doinas.

Paul Gifford

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