Pre Chanukah Humor!

[Klezcorner <Klezcorner...>]

The following has absolutely nothing to do with Music, however, it does sound
like some of our discussions:


Q:     How many Hassidic Rebbes does it take to change a light bulb?
A:     Vot is a light bulb?

Q:     How many Orthodox Rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?
A:     Change?

Q:     How many Conservative Rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?
A:     Call a committee meeting.

Q:     How many Reform Rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?
A:     None, anyone can change it whenever they want to.

Q:     How many Jewish Renewal rabbis does it take to change a light bulb?
A:     It depends.
       * One if it's an eco-kosher bulb that isn't going to be lit from
         electricity derived from nuclear power.
       * Two, as long as a man and a woman rabbi have equal turns putting in
         the bulb.
       * Three, one to change it, one to do a Buddhist mindfulness practice
         during the change, and one to document the paradigm shift in a
         best-selling book called "The Jew in the Lightbulb."
       * Four, same as above plus an additional rabbi to study the psyho-
         halachic implications of such a change and then lead a retreat
         weekend on the experience.

Q:     How many Shlomo hassidim does it take to change a light bulb?
A:     Gevaldt, it's mamash such a great opportunity to do t'shuvah. So it
       takes everyone there to get real close, sing a niggun, listen to an
       Ishbitzer teaching, tell a Levi Yitchak story, and change the bulb at
       2 in the morning.

Q:     How many Reconstructionist Rabbis does it take to change a light
       bulb?
A:     Four. One to wish they were doing what the Orthodox rabbi does, one
       to wish they were doing what the Reform rabbi does, one to wish they
       were doing what the Renewal rabbi does, and one eventually to change
       the bulb.

Q:     How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb?
A:     30. One to change the bulb & 29 to discuss it and give contradictory
       advice to the person changing the bulb.

Q.     How many Lubavitchers does it take to change a light bulb?
A.     None, it never died.

Q:     How many Breslover Hassidim does it take to change a light bulb?
A:     None. There will never be one that will burn as brightly as the
       first one.

Q:     How many congregants does it take to change a light bulb in a
       synagogue?
A:     CHANGE? You vant we should CHANGE the light bulb? My grandmother
       donated that light bulb!!!

All in good fun!!!?

Simon
Hatikvah