Jewish Personal Ads

[richard_wolpoe <richard_wolpoe...>]

Dear List,       
        Seeing the recent controversy re: ads in the Forverts, how about 
the lighter side of classified ads?  While this has to do little with 
music, it's very Jewish to laugh - even at ourselves; (or especially at 
ourselves!)


Enjoy a few laughs

Rich Wolpoe


______________________________ Forward Header __________________________________
Subject: :) 
Author:  Charlie Rubin at IBI-Cor2
Date:    7/1/98 10:45 AM


     
     
     
     Subject: Jewish personals

     ACTUAL PERSONALS THAT APPEARED IN ISRAELI PAPERS  
  
     Worried about in-law meddling? I'm an orphan! Write. POB74.    
     
     Yeshiva bochur, Torah scholar, long beard, payos. Seeks same in     
     woman.
        
     Desperately seeking shmoozing!  Retired senior citizen desires     
     female companion 70+ for kvetching, kvelling, and krechtzing.     
     Under 30 is also OK. POB 64
        
     Attractive Jewish woman, 35, college graduate, seeks successful     
     Jewish Prince Charming to get me out of my parents' house.POB 46    
     
     Divorced Jewish man, seeks partner to attend shul with, light     
     Shabbos candles, celebrate holidays, build Sukkah together, attend 
     brisses, bar mitzvahs. Religion not important. PB 658    
     
     Nice Jewish guy, 38. No skeletons. No baggage. No personality. POB 78
        
     Female graduate student, studying kaballah, Zohar, exorcism of     
     dybbuks, seeks mensch. No weirdos, please. POB 56
        
     Staunch Jewish feminist, wears tzitzis, seeking male who will accept 
     my independence, although you probably will not. Oh, just forget it. 
     POB 435
        
     Jewish businessman, 49, manufactures Sabbath candles, Chanukah     
     candles, havdalah candles, Yahrzeit candles. Seeks non-smoker. POB 787
        
     Israeli professor, 41, with 18 years of teaching in my behind.     
     Looking for American-born woman who speaks English very good. POB 555
        
     Couch potato latke, in search of the right applesauce. Let's try it 
     for eight days. Who knows? POB 43
        
     80-year-old bubby, no assets, seeks handsome, virile Jewish male,under 
     35. Object matrimony. I can dream, can't I? POB 545
        
     I am a sensitive Jewish prince whom you can open your heart to. Share 
     your innermost thoughts and deepest secrets.Confide in me. I'll 
     understand your insecurities. No fatties, please. POB 86.    
     
     Jewish male, 34, very successful, smart, independent, self-made. 
     Looking for girl whose father will hire me. POB 53
        
     Single Jewish woman, 29, into disco, mountain climbing, skiing,     
     track and field. Has slight limp. POB 76
        
     Jewish Princess, 28, seeks successful businessman of any major     
     Jewish denomination: hundreds, fifties, twenties. POB 27
        
     I was reform as an embryo, conservative as a fetus, orthodox from 
     birth. Seeking same. POB 46