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Hebrew Geek Code Update - Version 2.0 - sig.sig [1/1]
- From: Robert Kaiser <kaiser...>
- Subject: Hebrew Geek Code Update - Version 2.0 - sig.sig [1/1]
- Date: Wed 26 Apr 1995 01.00 (GMT)
The Hebrew Geek Code - Version 2.0 by Robert Kaiser
E-mail me any additions that you think would be good. They
might end up in version 3.0. kaiser (at) pofvax(dot)pnb(dot)sunysb(dot)edu
Amaze your friends and family! Communicate volumes of information
about yourself with just a few letters! Give information to those
in the know, without anyone else being able to understand! All
this and more is possible when you use this list to create your own
Hebrew Geek Code (HGC), which you then put in your .sig file.
Have fun. Permission is granted to spread this everywhere, as
long as credit is given.
Example Hebrew Geek Code:
S+ K+ Fa1 TM-1/TM M H+ T t SY+= & SYCh &SY+++,A
AT++ Te+/Te++ SC FO++= D+ P+ Tz++ E+/E++
-------------------------------------------------------
Qualifiers: A&B Means A and B
A/B Means ranging from A to B
-------------------------------------------------------
Shabbat Observance
S--- Of course. Every Sunday!
S- Not at all, or, "Shabbat - What's that?"
S Reform
S+ Conservative, will drive to shul
S++ Traditional, Orthodox
S+++ I stone cars on Shabbat
S-- I stone people walking to shul on Shabbat
Kashrut K- I only eat at McDonald's, except their
sodas.
K? What's kashrut
K Reform, will eat ham and cheese, but
will say a bracha afterwards
K+ Conservative. Will eat gelatin and OU
milk and kosher meat.
K++ Traditional/Orthodox. Only Chalav Yisroel
milk, no gelatin, only GLATT meat.
K+++ Satmar or Meshugge kosher.
Family Fa-- Intermarried - I sure do love Xmas!
Fa- Intermarried - but the children will
be raised Jewish
Fa.n/a Not applicable. I'm homosexual.
Fa.gm I'm gay AND I'm married.
Fa1 Not married - Single
Fa+ I married a Jew.
Fa++ I married more than two wives
at once. [Only applicable for
Yemenite Jews. Sorry :) ]
Tohorot Mishpacha TM-- I married a non-Jew, so this doesn't
(Family Purity) apply
TM- I'm a pagan
TM I'm mostly following the rules
TM+ Orthodox
TM++ My wife and I have separate houses
Moshiach M-- He's already come. Haven't you heard the
Good Word?
M- Don't believe in it.
M Could be
M+ I believe with perfect faith...
M++ We want Moshiach now!
M+++ Watching the Rebbe's grave.
M++++ I am Moshiach
Hebrew Language H- Is 'Jewish' a language?
H I went to Hebrew school. Shalom!
H+ I even took it in college.
H++ I'm not made fun of too badly by Israelis.
H+++ Ani midaberet Ivrit tov Me'od, nu?
Talmud Knowledge T-- I'm a Karaite
T- Is that like Torah?
T Studied in Hebrew school
T+ Studied in college, competent to argue.
T++ Talmud Chochem
T+++ Adin Steinsaltz's chevruta.
Tribe: t Israel
t+ Levi
t++ Cohen
t+++ Next in line to be the Cohen Gadol
t? Not sure
What type of SY-- Jesus loves me, yes he does...
synagogue do SY- Allah'hu Akbar!
I go to? -SY I don't go to shul
SY0 Reconstructionist
SY Reform
SY+ Conservative (whatever that means)
SY+= Conservative egalitarian
SYCh Chavura
SY++ UTJ/Traditional/Right wing Conservative
SY+++ Orthodox
SY+++M Modern Orthodox
SY+++Y Yeshiva Litvak Right wing
SY+++C Chassidic
You can add the appropriate Nusach code shown below. If you go to
a shul that is different that your background, then just add a
comma after the shul type, and then add the background code. If
you don't put a code after the shul type, the default is Ashkenazi.
Nusach (What type of Jew am I? )
A Ashkenazi
SE Sephardic (European)
S Sephardic (North African, Middle East)
SY Sephardic (Yementite)
ET Beta Yisrael (Ethiopian)
SI B'nai Yisrael (India)
Examples: SY+ SY+/A SY+/A,SE SY+,SE
How often do I AT-- Religion is for dweebs!
Attend shul? AT- Only for other people's weddings.
AT Regularly! Every Rosh Hashanah and Yom
Kippur, and I also had a Bar/Bat Mitzvah!
AT+ High holidays, Shalosh Regalim (Three
festivals), and occasional shabbats.
AT++ I go on Shabbat.
AT+++ And I lay Tefillin on weekdays
AT++++ The Rabbi wants to institute a
restraining order to keep me away!
Tefillin Te- What's that? Is it good to eat?
Te I don't wear animal products, dude.
Te+ Sure, sometimes, at least once a month.
Te++ Almost every day. I'm a mensch! :)
Te+++ The doctors say if I don't taken them off
soon, they'll have to amputate.
Shabbat Candles SC- I don't use matches. Only you can
prevent forest fires.
SC Been there, done that.
SC+ Every Shabbat.
SC++ I have been arrested for arson.
SC+++ I have been convicted for arson.
Add a 'W' for "My wife does that"
Ex: SCW+, SCW ...
Festival Observance:
FO--- Christmas Tree and Easter Eggs
FO-- Chanukka Bush and Passover Candy Basket
FO- Secular home
FO Somewhat Traditional - add the following
qualifiers as required:
s Go to a seder
m Light the menorah.
p Make noise and drink on Purim.
t Dance on Simchat Torah
su Eat in a Sukka on Sukkot.
sL Can LEAD a Seder :)
co Count the Omer
hh Go to High Holiday services.
FO+ Full Observance - Reform
FO++ Full Observance - Conservative
and Traditional/Non-egalitarian
FO++= Same as above, but egalitarian.
FO+++ Strict Orthodox observance
FO+++:( Celebrate all festivals but Israeli
Independence Day, since Moshiach is
not yet here.
Davening (praying) ability
D-- I daven Gospel.
D- What's davening?
D I know when to stand, sit and bow.
D+ I also know the Sh'ma and Kaddish by heart,
and can somehow make it through most of the rest.
D++ I can lead services
D+++ I can also read Torah, Haftarah and Megillot
D++++ and they'll invite me back a second time
Pesach (Passover)
P--- Happy Easter!
P-- Mohammed says to celebrate Moses's birthday !
P- I refrain from bacon double cheeseburgers on Pesach.
No bread at all! My parents are sooo proud!
P Yeah, I think I follow most of the rules. Mostly.
P+ Even the pet eats tuna and matzah-brei for a week
P++ I start cleaning right after Hanukkah !
P+++ Blowtorch the kitchen, buy new dishes every Spring
P++++ Blowtorch the house, move every Spring (This ties in
with that arson category of Shabbos candles).
Tzedakah
Tz- I'm a professional shnorrer. Got a dollar?
Tz I give a few bucks - but not if it hurts! :(
Tz+ I actually notice when I give.
Tz++ Repeat donor to UJA, JNF, UW, or SPCA, anything
but the PLO.
Tz+++ Give till it hurts. A mensch. :)
Tz++++ I'm a Rothschild
Egalitarianism Factor
E-- Don't touch that with your bare hands, it's a female!
E- uh...if a man heard a woman's voice, he'd be so overcome
with lustful thoughts he wouldn't be able to concentrate
on his prayers...
E OK, OK, LET them wear tefillin and have women's prayer
groups, just keep them behind the mechitza! But they
don't count in a minyan.
E+ Women (who REALLY have taken on the obligations of tefila
Tallit and Tefillin) can read Torah and count in minyans.
E++ Any women (even without taking on the obligations) can
count in a minyan.
E+++ I only like women rabbis/ I AM a woman Rabbi /
I married a woman Rabbi.
E++++ I'm an ultraliberal lesbian Reconstructionist Rabbi.
By Robert D. Kaiser kaiser (at) pofvax(dot)pnb(dot)sunysb(dot)edu
with contributions from
Michael Turniansky mt0013 (at) epfl2(dot)epflbalto(dot)org
Jonathan and Woody Anna Dresner dresner (at)
ccy(dot)yamaguchi-u(dot)ac(dot)jp
Wendy Morrison HMTRAD (at) aol(dot)com
S/S+K+TM-MHTtSY+=AT+Te+SC (D++++)
Johen Riehl e-mail ?
Yatzliakh Yisrael Abrahami Yatz (at) intxtdoc(dot)demon(dot)co(dot)uk
- Hebrew Geek Code Update - Version 2.0 - sig.sig [1/1],
Robert Kaiser