[HANASHIR:3281] It doesn't always work

[Red Sea Blue <Jess...>]

Having just read Wendy's wonderful account, I thought I would share a
happening from today that was significantly less wonderful, partly because
I'm sure I'm not the only one and partly because it doesn't matter how
experienced you are (and I guess I now feel considerably experienced
compared to my totally-new-to-all-of-this, very sweet, apprehensive Hava
Nashira roommate of this year), its never guaranteed easy.

I had four classes today 5 yrs, 6 yrs, 9 yrs and 11 yrs. The ones that were
all singing and dancing were the five year olds, the six year olds also got
pretty funky. The 9 year olds were trying hard to be indolent and
rebellious but they managed to get the rhythm. However the 11 yr olds were
on a no win. I only had 15 minutes with them in which time I wanted to
review a song I had taught to them about six weeks ago. It was a song of
mine, which probably didn't help matters. They had sung it quite
beautifully last time. We reviewed the words and then I started to get them
to sing. However they wouldn't sing and they would only talk to each other.
I had to start raising my voice. Their teacher is lovely but not great at
getting her way with them. I said to them 'Is singing this song with me the
most uncool thing that you can do?', and they all answered in one voice
'yes'. So I asked them to pretend for just fifteen minutes that in fact it
is the coolest thing they could be doing (I am tuned in enough to realise
that this was a very long shot). So I started singing with them and I
stopped as no-one was singing and some bright spark said 'we're just not
very cool'. I suddenly thought to myself that I deserved their respect
without having to battle for it. They were old enough to know better and I
am established enough in the community to warrant their respect.  So I told
them that I would sing the song through a couple of times I wasn't going to
beat them into singing with me, I wasn't going to try too hard. Either they
would join in or I would do a solo. So I sang it, no one joined in except
the teacher and some of them were still talking amongst themselves. At the
end of a once through I said 'right I'm leaving'. They were  shocked. The
bright spark called out 'can't we have another chance?'. 'No' I said. 'You
are all too outrageously rude for that'.  Fortunately I didn't swear at
them. Maybe they will sing it next week at the end of year concert where
every class is doing something or maybe they won't, I don't really care and
I won't lose my job.

I guess what I feel strongly about is that we sometimes hit ourselves on
our heads and push the barriers of our creativity in order to stimulate and
engage young minds and attitudes and thats fine, we should. But we
shouldn't always blame ourselves for failure. We need to acknowledge how
Sunday school is often regarded by its students.  I think perhaps we (I)
excuse rudeness too much. There are basic levels of behaviour and respect
that we should expect from the young people that we work with and if we
don't we should pull out or engage in dialogue with them until we do. They
must learn respect, even for their Sunday school music teacher. I took a
stand with last years five year olds and I have had no trouble this year
with them.

Thank you for your story Wendy.
love
Jess Gold
London, England



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