[HANASHIR:3280] More reflections on HN 99

[Wendy Goldberg <wendy.goldberg...>]

I'm still reeling.  It's been a big two weeks, and I haven't even been able 
to bring myself to listen to the tapes of all of the sessions.

I was asked to lead the final shacharit for our (day school) staff at our 
post school-year workshop.  They usually allot 30 minutes for davening, and 
I told them I didn't think that would be sufficient.  They balked at an 
hour (we had a lot to accomplish, you know) and settled on 45 minutes. 
 When I arrived last Tuesday, I was slated for an hour-a gift.

I brought all of the tambourines and percussion stuff I could find in the 
music room, set it in the middle, and periodically invited people to 
partake.  It's so much fun to let/help the adults be kids again.  Some of 
them rushed for the best stuff, and magically, there was no fighting over a 
favorite instrument :).

I took a lot from our HN repetoire, and invited them to consider that they 
no longer had to "do" t'filah as a doogma (example); that this was for 
them, after a long, productive school year.  I reminded them from time to 
time that we could slow down, that attending to what was between the words 
might be as important as the words themselves.  I tried to credit our (HN) 
teachers every time I added an insight, which I took from HN to be of 
utmost importance.

For the most part, we ROCKED!  People got really into it, added their 
percussion, even danced! And the ruach was great.  I taught "Salaam" before 
the Amidah and then at the end, as people were finishing their personal 
prayers, we began quietly, adding percussion and harmony when everyone was 
again part of the group.

Then Hallel.  I introduced by talking that people really REJOICED at the 
new moon, and we could, too.

Finally, I taught a favorite Adon Olam and prefaced it with where I learned 
it, what was incredible to me about my friend's family of 19 cousins who 
sing it all together at every family simcha.

And lo and behold, we finished an hour into it on the dot, as the workshop 
coordinators and I smiled to one another.  But the best was the feedback. 
 People thanked me for this gift.  They said it was one of the best t'filot 
they ever attended.  They asked a dozen questions about how to do this with 
children, and they asked for workshops in the fall.  I'm also slated to 
teach t'filah to those who are interested/willing over the summer, and that 
will begin in the next few weeks.  People are bringing their guitars and 
not so quietly, we begin to change the tenor of our prayers.

I was very pleased, although I ran up against what I bet cantors and other 
t'filah leaders run up against.  It was very hard for me to relax and pray. 
 I tried not to worry if others were getting into it; the sounds of the 
tamborines was enough to keep me on track, but I did have trouble 
connecting with the group, the words, and ultimately,
G-d.   It must be even harder for those who do this on a weekly basis, or 
maybe it gets easier.  I found it was easier to let go and connect when I 
was in my classroom, with children ages 8-9, than it was with my peers.  My 
guess is that given how successful this was, it will get easier.  As 
someone advised me recently, people assume that the one leading is the 
authority, so go for it without reservations.

My next project is to coordinate a musical sharing event similar to our 
sharing sessions at HN.  Why should we wait a whole year to be inspired by 
people from around the country, when we undoubtedly have great talents 
locally?!?

Thanks for listening, for feedback, and particularly, thanks for sharing 
YOUR stories.  It helps to hear what others are trying, doing, what works, 
what seems not to work, etc.

My only other request is that many of you don't have your names on your 
return emails, and your addresses don't identify you either.  Could people 
sign their names and perhaps include where you are located so that we can 
identify each other?

Thanks!
Wendy Goldberg
Minneapolis, MN




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