[HANASHIR:2404] Re: purim spoof someone sent me...

[T. Salisbury / L. Berkson <bravetoni...>]

Hi, everyone!  Here are a couple of songs I wrote for my Purimsphiel this
year.  It's mostly Broadway-based, but with a few other things tossed in.

Robbi:  great minds.... :)

Happy Purim, everyone!

Laura Berkson
---------------------------------
"I'm Just a Girl Who Must Say No."  {Vashti - solo}
    I'm just a girl who must say no, and I'm in a terrible fix
    Ahash wants me to give a show, but I know he's up to his tricks.
    With his pals he has been feasting,
    they've been partying and drinking for a week!
    To command the queen to show up now,
    Makes me so mad that I can hardly speak!

    I'm just a girl who will say no, this time the king's gone too far
    I won't let them ogle and drool, Vashti is nobody's fool
    So I ----  say ----- NO!


"Ahashverosh Has Had a Royal Fit"  (John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt)
{kids only}

Ahashverosh has had a royal fit
Says that the queen won't do
He told her with a shout
Now Vashti you get out
Ahashverosh has had a royal fit, da da da da da da da...
(2 more times, adding more kids)
last line, last time:  Ahashverosh says now you have to quit!

Haman and other ministers try to cheer up Ahashverosh.
"Have Your Way" (Cabaret)

What good is sitting alone in your room
You act like it's Tisha B'Av
Ahash, you need some cheering up,
You need to fall in love.
Quit making like you live inside a tomb
It's sunny and bright outside
King Ahashverosh we'll fix you up
We'll find you a beautiful bride.

We'll send the word / throughout the land
Soon you'll meet ladies of every version
Vying to be royal Persian

Soon we'll be outfitting you as the groom
They're coming without delay
What you say goes, and you don't budge
Remember, King A, that you are the judge
Get off your duff, don't be such a nudge
Cause you'll always have ----  your ---- way!

Who¹d have guessed?             (Be Our Guest / Beauty and the Beast)

Esther: Be my guest, be my guest
                It¹s for you a special fest
                It¹s a party in your honor
                So your presence I request

                Caviar, open bar,
                And, my dear, you are the star
                As for Haman, please advise him
                I¹ll have one thing to surprise him

                Come to drink, come to dine
                Put your feet up and recline
                At our banquet we¹ll have nothing second best

                Come join this festive scene
                Beside your loving queen
                And be my guest, be my guest, be my guest!

Company:
    Be our guest, be our guest,
                It¹s for you a special fest
                It¹s a party in your honor
                So your presence we request

                Have a knish, it¹s delish, how about gefilte fish?
                Try the hummus or the schwarma


Esther: Now I don¹t mean to alarm ya
                There¹s a guy , don¹t know why
                But I hear he has his eye
                Out to kill all of my people and me, too!

Ahash:  Who¹d do this evil thing?

Esther: Your right-hand man, my king
                It¹s that man, it¹s Haman, that¹s who!

Ahash:  Who¹d have guessed, who¹d have guessed?
                Would you ever have confessed?

Haman:  Ahashverosh, if I knew
                That Queen Esther was a Jew...

Ahash:  It¹s insane!  Don¹t explain
                For this  offense you'll hang!

Haman:  Oh, I¹m begging you, Queen Esther
                Though I do not mean to pester

Ahash:  This is low!   Out you go!  you don¹t really want to know
                How I¹m feeling, but I¹m feeling quite distressed
                I thought you were my friend
                But Haman it¹s the end
                Who¹d have guessed, who¹d have guessed, who¹d have guessed?!

Company:        Who¹d have guessed, who¹d have guessed, who¹d have guessed?


 Goodbye, Haman / Hello, Esther

Goodbye, Haman, yes, goodbye, Haman
You¹re the bottom of the heap, a real disgrace
Your power¹s gone,  Haman, and we¹ve won, Haman
You were mean and you were nasty, now you¹ll get a taste
?Cause while we¹re all singing you will be swinging
Well you always wanted to reach greater heights, so
Say au revoir, Haman
You took your plans too far, Haman
We¹re gonna toast our heroes here tonight!

Hello, Esther, well, hello, Esther
You¹ve been braver than a soldier on the line
She took a chance, Esther, let that man test her
Now she¹s glowing ?cause she¹s knowing that it worked out fine
So it¹s your day, Esther, we can say, Esther
You and Mordi made our story¹s end reveal that
Good wins out, people, give a hooray and shout, people
Esther¹ll never go away
Purim is here, it¹s here to stay, so
Join us again for next year¹s Purimspiel!


Every Jew Knows

In olden days the whole Megilla
Was read like a Jewish thrilla
Tradition grows
As every Jew knows.
And nowadays our Purim antics
Could never be called pedantic
Do you suppose every Jew knows?

We'll give you some song and dance
In this tale of chance
With a murder plot and a new romance
And some guys wear dresses instead of pants
?cause on Purim anything goes!  So
On your way, let out your laughter
It¹s happily ever after as our play shows
And every Jew knows!