More BeatleChanukah Parodies, As Promised

[Jeff Klepper <klepper...>]

Hey gang,

A couple of these might be left over from last year, but here they are, and
they've all been road tested.   David Nelson wrote his two at HUC (maybe
even earlier) a couple of decades ago.  Dave's a great guy - we used to
sing a lot together at Kutz Camp in NY.  Hey Jude is from last Purim with a
few lyric changes (the 'original' parody came from Cantor Aviva Rosenblum's
shul in Hollywood)  Special thanks to Michael Lotker for some cool lyrics
(which I couldn't resist tinkering with) and really great inspiration.  I
inserted Nowhere Man so you'll have the whole set.  Someone please thank
Betty Ross for me.  

I put the songs in chronological order (of the originals) so they could
even work as a Chanukah History of Rock.

All lyrics are (c) by their authors, who do it for love and understand they
won't get a penny out of it.  But a little credit is nice.

Finally, anyone who can't recognize even one of these songs needs to take
an emergency  remedial rock-n-roll course...or just ask someone over 40.

Have a freilech Chanukah,

Jeff

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CHANUKAH 1950's PARODIES

HOW MANY CHANUKAH LIGHTS ARE STILL LEFT TO GO? (Words By Rabbi David Nelson)

Each time we light a candle, it always burns so bright
And that is how we know, it's Chanukah tonight
Each night I ask the candles in a row:
How many Chanukah lights are still left to go?

It started long ago, with Judah Maccabee
He asked Antiocus to let the Jews be free
Each night I ask the candles in a row:
How many Chanukah lights are still left to go?

        I cried a tear when the onions were sliced
        But oh those crispy latkas tasted oh so very nice

In the end the Maccabees put up a winning fight
We recall their bravery when we see the burning lights
Each night I ask the candles in a row:
How many Chanukah lights are still left to go?

YOU AIN'T NOTHIN' BUT A DREIDLE (Words By Rabbi David Nelson)

You ain't nothin' but a dreidle spinnin' all the time (2)
You ain't never spun a dreidle till you've spun one of mine

You got four Hebrew letters - nun gimel hey shin (2)
So be a good dreidle and always let me win

They said that you was plastic, but that was just a lie (2)
Just give you a twist and watch that dreidle fly!

BEATLE CHANUKAH PARODIES

THEY SPIN ME (words by Michael Lotker and Jeff Klepper)

They spin me yeah, yeah, yeah
They spin me yeah, yeah, yeah
They spin me yeah, yeah, yeah

You say you lost your gelt
Well you had it yesterday
Quick, before it melts
Roll a gimel or a hay

        You know they spin me
        And I really can't get mad
        You know they spin me
        If you lose then I'll be sad

Oh you really shouldn't care
If you lost or if you won
Use nuts or chocolate gelt
You can eat them when you're done!

        You know they spin me
        And I really can't get mad
        You know they spin me
        If you lose then I'll be sad

They spin me yeah, yeah, yeah
They spin me yeah, yeah, yeah
When the spinning stops, believe you me, I'm glad

EIGHT DAYS A YEAR (words by Michael Lotker and Jeff Klepper)

Oo I need your latkas, guess you know it's true
But all I got were chachkes, so that's what I'll give you
Latkas frying - presents buying
It's what we do each winter, eight days a year

We're lighting the menorah, each and every Jew
We're learning from the Torah, the things we have to do
Candles burning - we're all learning
It's what we do each winter, eight days a year

        Eight days a year - we clean out our menorahs
        Eight days a year - we sing of Judah Maccabee

Each night we get presents, and have a lot of fun
Eight days makes much more sense, than only having one
Dreidles spinning - I'll be winning
It's what we do each winter, eight days a year

        Eight days a year - we clean out our menorahs
        Eight days a year - if only they would cancel school!

NO GOOD MAN words by Betty Ross and Jeff Klepper

He's a real No Good man
Came here from a foreign land
Antiochus is his name - he's the King.

Worships gods they have in Greece
Wants the Jews to be a piece
Of his empire in the East he's the King.

        Makes us pray - the Greek way
        Night and day - the Greek way
        Everything - Antiochus says we must do it his way.

Some Jews think this all is fine
Being Greek is no big crime
Even if you happen to be a Jew.

They don't want to make a fuss
Let the Greeks rule over us
But some of us won't stand for what they do.

        Help us now, oh Judah
        We won't bow, no, Judah
        Show us how to fight for the right to pray our own way.

Take your army to the hills
Fight until they've had their fill
And keep it up until they go away.

        No Good Man, get lost now
        You are not the boss now
        No Good Man we're ready to die, the stakes are so high!
        
He's a real No Good man
Came here from a foreign land
Antiochus is his name - he's the King.

LOVELY LATKAS (Words by Jeff Klepper)

Lovely latkas we have made (2)

Lovely latkas we have made, my stomach can't come between us
When Chanukah comes I'll live with Tums all day

I grated too hard, I scraped my hand
We supplied and they demanded
Sitting at the table with a ravenous look
Every night I ate a bunch
Saved a few to have for lunch
But there's nothing like a latka coming out of the pan

Lovely latkas we have made, my doctor can't come between us
When Chanukah comes I'll live with Tums all day

Very next day we made some more
Then neighbors started knocking on the door
Looking sad and hungry so we let 'em all in
Played a game, I nearly won it
Everybody asked me how I'd done it
Spinning in the kitchen with a dreidle or two

Lovely latkas we have made, why are you so appealing
Add sour cream and let me dream of you!

HEY JEWS (Chanukah Version) words by the Baruch family and Jeff Klepper

Hey Jews, you can't refuse
Light one candle, then light another
Remember to have a very good time
With thanks to Judah and his brothers

Hey Jews, don't be afraid
We've been taught to bow down never
How clever to always give it your best
And never rest, till our world is better

        And anytime you're feeling low
        Hey Jews you know
        Our persecutors won't win, cause they're so hateful
        So light a candle - make some noise
        All girls and boys
        Recall and retell the wondrous story (na na na na...)

Hey Jews, let's all be brave
Sing our blessings and thank our heroes
Remember to never hide who you are
Then you can start to make life better (better, better..etc)

Na, na, na, na na na na, na na na na, Hey Jews

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