[HANASHIR:10920] Bar Mitzvah melody choices/Adon Olam redux

[Robbi Sherwin <sherwin...>]

Chevra - 

Sometimes I think I'm the luckiest Sh'lichat Tzibor around - and sometimes I
think my job is tougher than any cantor's. EVERY SINGLE B'NAI MITZVAH in my
congregation not only chooses what melody they wish for each prayer, but
they also choose their siddur. This month alone, with 4 boys becoming BM, we
had a double that chose Reform's Gates of Prayer for Shabbat and two
singles, one who chose Conservative's Sim Shalom and the other (my son -
next week - yikes!) that chose our siddur, a compilation of many, including
Kol Haneshama, Likrat Shabbat and the two just mentioned.

As I work w/our BM families, I find out what are their comfort levels and
past level of Jewish observance. Hence, the many choices, including whether
or not to have instrumentation, how much and what instruments (we usually
offer guitars, piano, bass and  percussion).  Also, the majority of our BM
students play their instrument at their BM.  We've had harp, trumpet, viola
& violin, guitar and percussion.   If they don't play, their parents do.
It's funny, but they overwhelmingly choose Julie Silver's "Sim Shalom" to
play.  Or Dropkin's Ein Keloheinu.

We truly personalize every single BM for our kids and their families.  It's
one of the perks of not being affiliated with a movement.   I teach all the
kids the traditional melodies, so they have them for the rest of their
lives, as well. It's also a tremendous amount of work for me, but truly
worth it.  The four years I was at the big Reform congregation here, all the
families could choose was the closing song.  It was cookie-cutter and easy
for me.   But I hardly knew the kids and forget knowing the families!
That's great and familiar and comforting for some congregations, and I honor
that, but it's not for Kol Halev.  ("Voice of the Heart.") We're only 4
years old and almost 200 families - and this is Texas, y'all!  Both my
Rabbi, Kerry Baker, (co-writer w/Michael Issacson of "Biti") and I are cut
from the Reform movement.  When we do not have a BM, we use our siddur and
no instrumentation on Shabbat morning. Friday nights still rock w/a more
contemporary feel and lots of instrumentation.

My son, Sam, chose our siddur, which follows a traditional service.  Maybe
it's because he's at a community Jewish Day School, maybe it's because he's
the percussionist/drummer in my band....so he's often the one percussing at
the other kid's B'nai Mitzvah!  He also chose absolutely no instrumentation.
Now, a P.S.:  he and I are doing Adon Olam to the rap song "Clint Eastwood"
by the Gorillaz.  It's joyful.  It reflects a sensitivity to the beautiful
words by singing them with expression (as well as any rap song can!) and it
reflects Sam's personality.  Would I have chose it at a regular service?
No, but it's not about me.  Now.....I have to get working on my mouth
percussion.......)

b'shira,

Robbi Sherwin
Austin, TX