[HANASHIR:8293] Re: Fw: Kol Isha

[Andy Curry <acurry...>]

This is a fun topic.  

Let me preface my remarks by saying that the *implementation* of the injunction against hearing kol ishah is, in most cases, capricious, unproductive, and maddening.  In my experience, those who are most concerned with it seem to worry more about its minutiae than its  spirit.

But one thing I haven't seen is an argument with the following statement:

Shirona writes:
> Kol Isha Ervah... our voices an expression of nakedness, lasciviousness, forbidden sexuality...  Is this really true??  Or does the real problem lie in the realm of the male psyche... ( be honest, guys...)
  
This is my outrage - how DARE you men - attach such negative connotations to our voices, trying to silence and degrade us women - if YOU are the ones having a problem?  OK... I realize that this is typical male conduct.  Just look at the status of women throughout history and try and figure out WHY.  Kind of a "no brainer" - isn't it.
>
<<<<
When I was a travelling musician/singer in my younger days, I was approached by women during and after performances who wanted to take me home.  Some of these women were married, or had children, or an existing relationship with a man.  Was it my wit?  My sparkling conversation?  My bank account?  My suitability as a spouse?  I don't think so.

I can only conclude that they were attracted to me because, aside from their own personal issues, my singing reached them in some way (and it was a western swing and bluegrass band, so there was nothing overtly suggestive in the music).

Now that I am fat and almost fifty, after I daven, women don't try to take me home, but they do say things to me which would not be said in other circumstances:  "You have such warmth"; "I feel your spirit"; et cetera.  I take their words at face value and thank them sincerely.

Our favorite singers are the ones who, in their performance, reveal something of themselves, or make it seem so.  The reason people have stage fright is that performance requires, to some degree, getting naked in a figurative (unless you're a stripper) way.  It doesn't matter whether you're singing a love song to a flesh-and-blood lover or to Jesus or to HaKadosh Baruch Hu - you're trying to convince, to soften, ...
to seduce.

So yes:  Singing, whether by male or female, includes nakedness, possible lasciviousness, and [not necessarily forbidden] sexuality.  This is NOT a negative connotation, but a positive one.  Our tradition recognizes that the yetzer hara is needed in the world, as nothing, good or bad, would happen without it.  Singing, and performance in general, might be one of the best examples of making something beautiful from the yetzer hara.

But one needs to be careful with the yetzer hara.  Were the rabbis who built the fence around the Torah living today, they might well have made the prohibition mutual for both men and women, given the so-called Sexual Revolution.  Most of us wouldn't like it and wouldn't follow it, but it could be justified from the viewpoint of those trying to keep us far from sin.

Finally, Shirona, please don't paint all men with the same brush, using such phrases as "the male psyche" and "typical male conduct". It's not fair and it's not useful.

Kol tuv,
Andy


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Andy Curry
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E-Mail: acurry (at) cellnet(dot)com
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