[HANASHIR:8231] Re: Fw: Kol Isha

[Fifth Avenue <jbielan...>]

I'm sorry....
I tried...

I kept saying to myself, "just shut up and learn from the wisdom of
others who know far more about Judaic tradition than you do...wait for
some learned Cantor or rabbi to write some profound message which will
make you say, 'ohhh... now I get it'...see what they say... it's not as
black and white as you think..."

But I can't.  I just can't.

Other people's Judaic choices and observances are absolutely none of my
business: I get that.  As long as they are reverent towards God and live
their lives in pursuit of a daily connection towards God, my only job
with regards to them is to respect their choices and hope that they live
and be well.

HOWEVER.... I couldn't agree more with Shirona.

I believe that the hypocrisy involved with the dismissal of integrated
singing and performance in praise of God is obscene.  How dare we spit
in the face of the talents and abilities which God has given to so many
women?  Why?  Because, as Shirona so wisely put it, a thousand years ago
some rabbi felt guilty about his own feelings of arousal and set forth
dictates in order to apease his own guilt?

I belong to a program, one of whose primary adages is "No control over
people, places and things".  I believe in that philosophy with all my
heart and soul.  While there are laws and rules by which we all must
live  in order to maintain a civilized society - I believe that in some
arenas, it is not our place to try to control others.

No, I don't therefore believe that sickies like Farrakhan have the right
to spew hate (any more than I believe that Dubya is the possessor of a
brilliant intellect); or before anyone herein jumps on the "but that's
the essence of it: this is a rule.." I say - please know, with no
disrepsect but only my personal opinion (to which, I believe, that God
says I am entitled): "hogwash".

The way I read it, the entire underlying essence of Kol Isha is not
about tradition, but rather about fear and control.  Is "fear" the
primary emotion we are supposed to experience when we pray?  Standing in
humble awe of God - yes... but aren't these the moments when we are
supposed to be most honest with ourselves and our God?  Aren't we
supposed to strive to attain some kind of elevated level of
conscienceness with God - with absolute devotion and honesty in our
hearts?

Truth be known, somehow I just have to believe that most men watching an
appropriately dressed woman sing about God aren't going to dwell on
"what a nice tuchus she has" for very long.  Momentarily... O.K. guys..
let's be honest here... yes.  But if one is inclined towards such
feelings, he easily may be equally inclined to look at a man singing
about God and feel envious "...because he can sing and I can't"; or feel
momentarily superior "...because I have a thicker head of hair than the
guy next to me"; or feel anxious "...because the man two rows over reads
the Amidah so much faster than I - and therefore is probably a better
Jew than I am"; or feel resentful "...because maybe the rabbi didn't
touch on topics during today's sermon which I thought he should have
been addressing."

Lasciviousness versus fear, envy, anger and resentment: all impure
emotions - none of which ideally belong in Shuel.  And if we're gonna
try to control one - isn't it our equally solemn obligation to control
the others?  I guess the only answer is for each of us to only pray
alone in order that we not be subjected to any outside distractions.

But isn't Shuel a place where we are supposed to seek and pray for
answers?  Argue with cries of tradition and quotations if you like, but
I think Shirona is right.  When did God say that women can't sing in
Shuel?  When did God say that even if a man is momentarily distracted by
a woman's physical attributes, that same man should therefore lose the
greater benefit of witnessing that woman's God-given abilities to sing
in praise of Him?  Do we always eliminate the messenger because we're
distracted by the way he/she appears while delivering the message?

I can't even begin to count the times I've sat in a religious setting
and listened to a woman Cantor or song leader or soloist whose delivery
moved me to tears.  In some cases, did I momentarily fantasize about
some of the ones whom I personally found attractive?  If I'm honest:
yes. But in most cases, those silly fantasies soon gave way to awe at
their abilities and gratitude for their conveying a message which, for
those moments, genuinely made me feel closer to God.

And in some of those cases as well.... here it comes - I can't resist...
I've also felt damn grateful I wasn't being subjected to the wailing of
a man with little musical ability or sincerity - one who was consumed
with overcompensation for his inabilities and artifically-inflated ego
by compulsively doling out extraordinary doses of self-righteousness -
one who tells people like many of us on this forum - that he won't allow
us to even use a piano in his congregation.

After all, it is his congregation..

Not the community's congregation..

That is right, isn't it?

Kol Isha warning indeed...

- Jack Bielan






I have been to many Orthodox weddings, where women vocalists were
forbidden to perform.