Electric Guitar in Ancient Jewish Music

[Benjamin_Laden <Benjamin_Laden...>]

I found this in a document from Dropsie University of Middle East Studies
that was almost tossed in the trash when they closed the University.


Article XXIV: Evidence of the use of Electric Guitar in Traditional Jewish
Music

Recently uncovered scrolls depict a robed man bearing a breastplate of the
Tribe of Judah. The remarkable drawing shows a front and rear view of the
subject. When the rear view is examined closely, it is possible to detect
the outline of a missing instrument that was slung over the back. Through
recently developed technologies, we were able to determine that the
instrument was not a lute as first thought, but a Flying V Electric guitar.

This discovery has astonished the academic world. Many, who have argued
about the rightful places of various instruments in Jewish expression, now
stand silently in awe. In a statement to the press, guitarist Paul Simon
said " I fuckin' told y'all...but nobody would listen. Clapton is God and
he is The Jewish God."

Now researchers are speculating that the ark of the covenenant must have
been a Fender Twin Amp, and that many of the miracles in the Bible can now
be attributed to feedback.

The new finding also helps explain coiled pickups and a leather pair of
pants that were unearthed in digs near the Western Wall.
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I thought this remarkable document  might clear up some of the recent
discussions of which instrument is most Jewishly expressive.

Lute Shmute - Gimme my MTV (Moses T V)
Benny