[HANASHIR:1899] Re: Quiet

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cute Neil! From whence did you get that? Emily

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> From: NeilNFW (at) aol(dot)com
> To: hanashir (at) shamash(dot)org
> Subject: [HANASHIR:1878] Re: Quiet
> Date: Wednesday, December 02, 1998 9:09 PM
> 
> Ask and ye shall receive  ---
> 
> Erev Christmas
> >     
> >   Twas the night before Christmas, and we, being Jews,
> >   My girlfriend and me-we had nothing to do.
> >   The Gentiles were home, hanging stockings with care,
> >   Secure in their knowledge St. Nick would be there.
> >   But for us, once the Hanukkah candles burned down,
> >   There was nothing but boredom all over town.
> >     
> >   The malls and the theaters were all closed up tight;
> >   There weren't any concerts to go to that night.
> >   A dance would have saved us, some ballroom or swing,
> >   But we searched through the papers; there wasn't a thing.
> >     
> >   Outside the window sat two feet of snow;
> >   With the wind-chill, they said it was fifteen below.
> >   And while all I could do was sit there and brood,
> >   My girl saved the night and called out "CHINESE FOOD!"
> >     
> >   So we ran to the closet, grabbed hats, mitts and boots
> >   To cover out heads, our hands, and our foots.
> >   We pulled on our jackets, all puffy with down.
> >   And boarded "The T," bound for old Chinatown.
> >     
> >   The train nearly empty, it rolled through the stops,
> >   While visions of wontons danced through our kopfs.
> >   We hopped off a Park Street; the Common was bright
> >   With fresh-fallen snow and the trees strung with lights,
> >     
> >   Then crept through "The Zone" with its bums and its thugs,
> >   And entrepreneurs selling ladies and drugs.
> >   At last we reached Chinatown, rushed through the gates,
> >   Past bakeries, past markets, past shops and cafes,
> >     
> >   In search of a restaurant: "Which one? Lets decide!"
> >   We chose "Hunan Chozer," and ventured inside.
> >   Around us sat other Jews, their platters piled high
> >   With the finest of foods their money could buy:
> >     
> >   There was roast duck and fried fake squid, (sweet, sour and spiced,)
> >   Dried kosher beef and mixed veggies, lo mein and fried rice,
> >   Whole fish and moo shi and "shrimp" chow mee foon,
> >   And General Gaus chicken and ma po tofu....
> >     
> >   When at last we decided, and the waiter did call,
> >   We said: "Skip the menu!" and ordered it all.
> >   And when in due time the food was all made,
> >   It came to the table in a sort of parade.
> >     
> >   Before us sat dim sum, spare ribs and egg rolls,
> >   And four different soups, in four great, huge bowls.
> >   The courses kept coming, from spicy to mild,
> >   And higher and higher toward the ceiling were piled.
> >     
> >   And while this went on, we became aware
> >   Every diner around us had started to stare.
> >   Their jaws hanging open, they looked on unblinking;
> >   Some dropped their teacups, some drooled without thinking.
> >     
> >   So much piled up, one dish after the other,
> >   My girlfriend and I couldn't see one another!
> >   Now we sat there, we two, without proper utensils,
> >   While they handed us something that looked like two pencils.
> >     
> >   We poked and we jabbed till our fingers were sore
> >   And half of our dinner wound up on the floor.
> >   We tried-how we tried! -- but, sad truth to tell,
> >   Ten long minutes later and still hungry as well,
> >     
> >   We swallowed our pride, feeling vaguely like dorks,
> >   And called to our waiter to bring us two forks.
> >   We fressed and we feasted, we slurped and we munched.
> >   We noshed and we supped, we breakfasted and lunched.
> >     
> >   We ate till we couldn't and drank down our teas
> >   And barely had room for our fortune cookies.
> >   But my fortune was perfect; it summed up the mood
> >   When it said: "Even if it was kosher, it was still Chinese food!."
> >   And my girlfriend-well ... she got a real winner;
> >   Hers said: "Your companion will pay for the dinner."
> >     
> >   Our bellies were full and at last it was time
> >   To travel back home and write some bad rhyme
> >   Of our Chinatown trek (and to privately speak
> >   About trying to refine our chopstick technique).
> >     
> >   The MSG spun round and round in our heads,
> >   As we tripped and we laughed and gaily we said,
> >   As we carried our leftovers home through the night;
> >   "Good Yom Tov to all-and to all a Good Night!"