joke

[Janet . PAPE <Janet.PAPE...>]

This is an old joke, but worth re-experiencing, and maybe there are
people on the list who don't know it...  Janet Pape

Have you heard the story of the middle-aged Jewish bachelor who had two
passions in life:  his pet parakeet and his extensive recordings of the
various cantors?

Many was the evening when, after a hard day's toil this middle-aged
Jewish
bachelor would come home and after a microwaved supper, put on his
slippers, light a pipe, recline in his easy chair and listen to his
beloved
recordings w/ his parakeet.  And how his bliss was enhanced when his
equally beloved parakeet started picking up on the chants and imitating
them note perfect.  How he kvelled as the parakeet, the apple of his
eye,
learned not only the musical passages but also their appropriate
positiions
of the service.

Unable to keep his enthusiasm to himself, he offered to the rabbi the
parakeet's talents for the next High Holy Day services, free of charge,
thereby saving the congregation the costs of a cantor.  Understandably,
the
rabbi was skeptical about the matter.  The middle-aged Jewish bachelor
suggested leaving the decision to the congregation.  They were equally
skeptical at first, but when the MAJB offered to make it interesting by
betting each member $100 that the parakeet could match the performance
of
any cantor they had engaged in the past, the deal was made.

Came the services for Rosh Hashonah and the first cue for the
cantor...and
the parakeet stood mute.  Attributing the parakeet's silence to stage
fright, the rabbi continued the service, only find the parakeet equally
silent at the next cue, and so on through out the entire service, to the
chagrin of all, not least the MAJB who was now in hock to every person
in
the congregation for $100.

After the crestfallen MAJB took the parakeet home, he put it on the
kitchen
table, and got out a meat cleaver.

"What are you doing?" asked the parakeet.

"I'm going to kill you," replied the MAJB.

"Why are you going to do that?" asked the parakeet.

"You have to ask?" replied the MAJB.  "You've shamed me and made me the
laughing stock of the entire congregation; I don't know if I'll ever be
welcome to pray with them again; and by making me lose my bets w/ all
their
members you've driven me to bankruptcy!"