Jewish Holidays

[Rick Lupert <RickPoet...>]

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short summary of every Jewish Holiday:

They tried to kill us, we won, let's eat.



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 The Yo-Yo Diet Guide to the Jewish Holidays
                            - Submitted by Avi Golden
    --------------------------------------------------------
 In honor of the Jewish Holiday of Passover, which begins
 Friday night at Sundown, we bring you todays jokes on Jewish
 Holiday practices.

 Rosh Hashanah    -- Feast
 Tzom Gedalia     -- Fast
 Yom Kippur       -- More fasting
 Sukkot           -- Feast
 Hoshanah Rabbah  -- More feasting
 Simchat Torah    -- Keep feasting
 Month of Heshvan -- No feasts or fasts for a whole month. Get a grip on
                     yourself.
 Hanukkah         -- Eat potato pancakes
 Tenth of Tevet   -- Do not eat potato pancakes
 Tu B'Shevat      -- Feast
 Fast of Esther   -- Fast
 Purim            -- Eat pastry
 Passover         -- Do not eat pastry
 Shavuot          -- Dairy feast (cheesecake, blintzes etc.)
 Seventeenth of Tammuz -- Fast (definitely no cheesecake or blintzes)
 Nine days of Av       -- Don't eat meat.
                          Might be OK to eat cheescake or blintzes.
 Tish B'Av             -- Very strict fast
                          (don't even think about cheesecake or blintzes)
 Month of Elul        -- End of cycle.
                         Enroll in Center for Eating Disorders
                         before High Holidays arrive again.


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