[HANASHIR:12087] Parody (sent from a friend)

[K. B. <kbmusic...>]

Take off on The Gambler as sung by Kenny Rogers.
original words are : ya gotta know when to hold em gotta know when to fold 
em......

  The Gabbai  --   by David Chinitz


On a warm Erev Shabbos, in a shul in the golus,
I met up with a Gabbai, a  minyan we did seek.
We took turns preparin', the kriah from the Tikun ,
The dikduk over took us, and he began to speak:

He said, Son, I've made a life, out of standing by the layner,
And knowin' all the rough spots, by the way he holds his eyes,
And if you don't mind my sayin', I can see that you're a faker,
For some pennies for tzedakah, I'll give  you my advice.

So I handed him my wallet, and I emptied out my pockets,
Into the pushke, the money slipped from sight.
And he took away my Tikkun, and he pushed me toward the bimah,
and said: if you're goin' to read the scroll, boy, you better learn to read it 
right.

You got to know when to kadma, know when to azlah,
Know when to munach, know etnachto,
You never take any yasher koachs, in the middle of the kriah,
Ther'll be plenty of yasher koachs, when the readin's done.

Every Gabbai knows, that the secret to survival,
Is knowin' how to figure out, the trope at a glance.
'Cause every word is kodesh, on Yom Kippur  or Rosh Hodesh,
And the Kahal will correct you, everytime they get the chance.

And when he finished speaking, he stared into the sefer, Torah,
Read without a problem, from the letters dark and bold,
But somewhere in Vayikrah, the Gabbai  got corrected,
And in his final words, I found a yad that I could hold.

Ya got to know when to kadmo, know when to azlah,
Know when to munach, know etnachto,
You never take any yasher koachs, in the middle of the kriah,
Ther'll be lots of yasher koachs, when the readin's done.

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