[HANASHIR:11059] Here's the Purim Play (now be off with ya!)

[Gordon Lustig <gordonza...>]

> Would it make sense to send a note to Hanashir with the play as an
> attachment?  Then you wouldn't have to send out so many individual emails.
> 
> Many thanks.
> 
> Nell Hirsch


I will not comment on the power of "free" stuff but since I'm spending an
hour everyday pasting it into individual Emails, and it's not very long,
here it is. Make sure you delete the play if you reply to the list so people
don't start cloning it into every Email.

You'll want to fix it where it refers to Mordechai as "Uncle" then suddenly
"cousin."
Feel free to edit as necessary.

Gordon 





PURIM STORY by Gordon Lustig





Note:   Congregational participation with groggers, hissing, booing, etc.,
does not occur during rhyming sections.



Narrator: In a palace in Persia, in a town called Shushon, there ruled a
King; A very foolish King named Ahashverosh.....

Audience:  GOD BLESS YOU!.  (hold up sign)

Narrator: And, like many people and some kings, Ahashverosh......

Audience:  GOD BLESS YOU!.  (hold up sign)

Narrator: The "King".....didn't think he was foolish.

Ahashverosh: (holding his crown in his hands)
I am the wisest King in the land
But what is this round thing I hold in my hand?

Advisor: You are the only King in Shushon town,
And that thing in your hand, Sire, it's called a "Crown"
You are wise, you are kind, you are handsome, you've said
But to look like a king, it should go on your head!

Narrator: Now, the King was married, appropriately, to the Queen, and her
name was Vashti. She was not your everyday, ordinary, run of the mill Queen.
Vashti had dreams! She dreamed of someday running her own computer software
business, (or was it a shmata business?) Anyway....the King ignored Vashti's
dreams and demanded that she entertain him as though she were a puppet.


Ahashverosh: Dance for me Vashti, amuse the King.
     Play the tuba, tell jokes, let me hear Vashti sing!

Narrator: Vashti did not like her role in the palace and was nearing her
boiling point.

Vashti: There's more in this world than pleasing the King.
I don't want to dance and I don't want to sing.
I don't like to party, I'd much rather read.
"Dance, tell jokes, play the tuba, "  INDEED!

Narrator: One day, in the palace in Persia, Queen Vashti decided she'd "Had
It!" No more would she be the King's "Las Vegas Show girl". And she told him
so.

Ahashverosh: Dance for me Vashti, amuse and delight.
   Rehearse for the party I'm throwing tonight.

Vashti: King, Sire, sir, I hear your demands,
But tonight, your Highness, I've made other plans.
(hands king a puppet)
Here is a puppet, she'll joke and she'll rhyme.
Please don't wait up dear and have a good time.
(The King wears the puppet on his hand for the rest of the play)

Narrator: Vashti was never seen again. At least not until the end of the
story. The King said he banished her, Vashti said she quit.  Never the less,
the King needed a new Queen.

Narrator:  So...the King held a big party and invited the most beautiful
women. During the party, he noticed a woman dancing all by herself.

Ahashverosh: I've not seen such beauty since... I don't know when.

Esther: I wasn't invited, I dropped off a friend.

Ahashverosh: But you are the one, we shall marry at once.

Advisor: ("whispering" to Esther)
I thought I should tell you.... the King is a dunce!

Oh, by the way miss, I don't mean to pester...
What is your name please?

Esther: Just call me Queen Esther.

Narrator: It turns out Esther had an uncle named Mordechai who often came to
visit her at the palace. Little did Mordechai know, he would soon be a
hero......again. 

Mordechai: Heroes like me come a dime a dozen.
I wouldn't be here if it weren't for my cousin.
Although I did save the King's life one day.
When I told him some men planned to blow him away.

Narrator: Unfortunately for the peace of the world, but fortunately for an
action-packed drama, there always seems to be, "The Bad Guys".  Shushon was
no exception. There were the bad guys who were gonna hurt the King.  And...
there was another bad guy:
Haman: (singing)
"Oh once there was a wicked wicked man da, da, da, da, da, da, da..."
I love that song. it's quite catchy. I just can't seem to remember the
words.
Hey! That didn't rhyme. I thought this was a rhyming story. Someone's gonna
hang for this! I've got a good head for rhyming, listen:
There once was a nice guy named Haman
Who books was always blamin'.
When the real bad guy was Mordechai.
He's the one they should be..........
Stringin' up by his free thinkin' little neck, refusin' to bow down to me.
Who does he think he is anyway? Steven Speilberg? The nerve of some people.
And who gets booed and hissed at the very mention of his name. ME! That's
who. And you'd think.......

Narrator: Excuse me, but could we go on with the story?

Haman: Oh, yea. Sorry.

Narrator: As.... the man was saying, one evening, Mordechai did have a
little run in with Haman.

Audience: (with noise makers)   HISS.... BOO....BOO.....HISS

Haman: I order you now to bow down and kneel.

Mordechai:     I know  who you are and you're a schlemiel.

(to audience)  I don't like the guy but , hey, what the heck,
Sometimes ya' put up with a pain in the neck.

Haman: Bow down to me if near me you trod.

Mordechai: I am a Jew and you're not my God.

Haman: If you don't bow down to me, all Jews shall die.

Mordechai: You can't even rhyme two words Tough Guy!

Narrator: So, Haman.....

Audience: (with noise makers)   HISS.... BOO....BOO.....HISS

Narrator: So.....this guy with the hamentashen hat .....told the.... "King"
with the funny name that the Jews were bad, and the King believed the lies.

Ahashverosh: I believe the things you say.
    Pick the time and pick the day.

Haman: I'll pull a number out of my hat
and pick the day.....

Narrator: And that was that.

Haman:     Thirteen it is, thirteen I drew
The Thirteenth of Adar will be death for each.....
member of the widely dispersed people originally descended from the ancient
Hebrews and sharing an ethnic heritage based on........Wait! That didn't
rhyme either! Who gave me these lines? I think I need a new agent!

Narrator: Mordechai told Esther of Haman's... scheme.....

Audience: (with noise makers)   HISS.... BOO....BOO.....HISS

Narrator: And Esther went to the "King"...and knowing how much he loved
parties, asked the King to throw a big farewell party.

Esther: My husband, my King , I have news to share,
So let's invite people from everywhere,
To help spread my news across the land,
And, you'll be surprised, King, as sure as I stand.

Ahashverosh: Splendid idea, we'll invite the whole town,
   And, I'll dress my puppet in her finest gown.

Narrator: The night of the party arrived, and after the King's puppet told a
few jokes....

Puppet: If the Queen were a hen, what kind of eggs would she lay?

Audience: Esther eggs!!!!

Narrator: ......The "King" said...

Ahashverosh: Now for the reason I've asked you all here.
   The Queen wants to say something. Take it, my dear!

Esther: Haman's a liar, a terrible guy
It started with my Uncle Mordechai.
He wouldn't bow down to that sinister man,
So Haman hatched up a most sinister plan.
He made up a story and said Jews were bad.
The King believed Haman...

(Puppet):(the puppet still on the King¹s hand)  The King must be mad!


Mordechai: The King isn't mad, just a little naive.
    People believe what they want to believe.

Esther: That's just the beginning. It gets worse than that.
A punishment date was pulled out of his hat

Advisor: And what is the punishment?
Tell us, oh Queen.

Esther: The number pulled out of the hat was thirteen.
That day of Adar, only two days from now,
All Jews will be killed...

Audience: OY VEY!   HOLY COW!  (hold up signs)

Esther: Say good-bye to anyone here that's a Jew.
Say good-bye to your Queen, because I'm Jewish, too!

Haman: So I'm not perfect. I have a few flaws.
I'm thinking of adding a "Jewish Queen Clause?
Hey, it rhymed!  Did you hear that?  It really rhymed!

Ahashverosh: Too late for that, Big Guy, you're out of lines.
   You will be punished while everyone dines.
   Mordechai, Mordechai you saved my life.
   You are as fine as your cousin, my wife.
   If only Vashti could be here somehow....

Vashti: I am, silly King. I'm a caterer now.

I have my own business called, "WE'LL DO THE REST" (holding up large
business card)
Try the poppy seed hamentashen, they're the best!




The End