[HANASHIR:10651] Re: Looking for Guidance...

[goldenberg <goldnbrg...>]

 Just for a moment, let me take off my Music hat and put on my teen educator
hat for you.   It would be a shame quash enthusiasm of any teen who can find
a connection to Judaism.  And we all know that teens have another agenda and
will take the ball and run with EXCESSIVE energy and enthusiasm and make
demands and be a little attitudinal, etc etc because that is what they are
supposed to be doing developmentally at this stage.

If you feel this student has something-anything to share and contribute, but
needs some tempering and training, you can offer him several options. BUT
first require him to be signed up in some teen program either a formal teen
education program or a youth group. then offer him:

to do an internship where you can gradually ease him in to a leadership
role. (if you want  a Madrich program that will lend itself to music, let me
know.)

a chance to form an alternative havurah service eventually, for a small
group.

a position as madrich teaching music in the Hebrew school, under your
guidance

If he is on the young side- let him work up to a paid madrich position when
he turns 16.
If he is on the old side- tell him you will write him letters of
recommendation for college and he can do some community service as a
musician.

ON THE OTHER HAND- it is very important that he understand what a leader is,
what the role of service leader is, how music fits into the service, how to
determine the tone of the congregation. I would do this by letting him do
stuff, but making him keep a response journal so that he will develop
emotionally,which I suspect he desparately needs. (I might be way off , but
he is probably not very social with his peers.-otherwise, he would be going
to the movies, etc. He may sub consciously see this as a vehicle for
building up status in another community-adults, where he and his family see
him getting positive strokes to bolster his self-esteem.  as I say, this is
just a guess)

In any case, people who make threats are using bully tactics. don't be
intimidated....smile, be nice. work slowly. You didn't become what you are
just because you went to camp for a summer.  Show him the credentials of
some other synagogue musicians. Set a framework, and watch a flower unfold!.

Good luck.  keep me posted.

Ellen Goldenberg, Ed. Dir.
Irondequoit Hebrew Studies Center
Rochester, New York  (NO WE DONT HAVE 10 FEET OF SNOW LIKE BUFFALO-YET)

and a conductor of the Rochester Jewish Chorale
also in rochester, NY (suprise)

AMONG OTHER THINGS...................

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