[HANASHIR:8458] Re: Use of Hashem or Ad-nai

[shirona <shirona...>]

Not a typical posting...  I wanted to share a personal story that has to do
with both Kol Isha and the use of G-d's name in songs.

**Caution**  It's  long...
but then the delete function is fast...  It's a true story, by the way.

On my way back from Israel this January I sat across the isle from a
Hassidic guy - black hat, black clothes,peyes,beard - the whole bit. But
there was something about this man's face that was very attractive to me.
He had the most beautiful, penetrating blue eyes... with a wise,
gentle, "knowing" kind of gaze. I convinced myself that he was a big
important Hassidic Rabbi... he was "out there"...  HE KNEW...   I really
wanted to strike up a conversation with
him, but came up with enough "reasons" why NOT to, and so nothing
happened...   It was a long flight.

At JFK, waiting forever for the luggage around the carousel, we kept bumping
into each other, so to speak, and I would look at him, and he looked right
back at me.  Several times.  It was the weirdest thing, making eye contact
with a Hassidic guy, and getting all nervous about it.  Still - no words
were exchanged.

On my way out of the airport, pushing the cart with a pile of suitcases, I
saw him again, standing on line for a taxi, surrounded by a bunch of more
Hassidim.  All of a sudden, by a sudden impulse,  I knew what I had to do.
I had only one CD left in my bag. (My CD).  So I walked over to him and
said:   "Uh...excuse me...would you have a problem listening to the voice of
a woman...?"  He gave me that "penetrating look"  and said "why do you ask"?

In the mean time my daughter who came to pick me up from the airport, is
sending me "daggers" from across the street,  like I totally lost my mind,
and that she wants nothing to do with me. (She's a teenager, what do you
expect!)  So I quickly fumbled in my bag and took out my CD and said  "I
have no idea why I'm doing this, but I want you to have this CD.  It's my
music, it's in Hebrew, the songs are based on Prayers from the Siddur or
texts from the Bible...  If you can't listen to it, give it to your
wife...".   I also gave him my card, just in case, and rushed back to my
impatient ( "Mom, you are SO weird") daughter.

The thing is though, I knew he would listen to the CD, and I was pretty sure
he would also call me...  I felt as though I had reached across a huge gap,
like reaching over to some "other side".  That was probably the most
impulsive, strange thing I've ever done.  But it was also very
exciting...WHY?
In the words of one famous Rabbi - "who the heck knows!"

So NU?  Did he call, or WHAT?

He called... maybe a month later, but I recognized his voice immediately and
he was surprised I knew who he was right away. (like I was sitting around
waiting for him to call). He told me that he really liked my music, and that
he personally had no problem listening to a woman sing.  I was relieved and
felt a sense of hope for the future (and this was before the big Kol Isha
debate on the list!).  He was very curious why a "secular Israeli" woman
like myself would be moved to write this kind of material... it was a total
"chiddush" (a new thing) for him, and yet he was so open and accepting.

The one thing I "worried" about was the use of G-d's name...

Personally I have no problem with that.  Based on real prayers, and the
music sensitively composed to enhance and elevate the words - the Hebrew
words Adonai or Elohim are the most appropriate. My understanding is that
there is only one name that should NEVER be uttered, YodHeyVavHey.  I
totally "get" that and respect that. But if we say the word Adonai in songs
that are obviously related to the prayers themselves, I don't see the harm.
I see it as another form of prayer, of thanking and relating to G-d.  But
then other people have other ways of interpreting things, and get "offended"
when others don't follow their beliefs.

So I was expecting a "lecture" on this subject from my Hassidic Rabbi (who
turned out to be a business man...) and again to my surprise and relief - he
had no problem with that either. He was more intrigued by the creative force
that moved me (and many others) to "sing a new song for G-d", as we've been
told SO may times in our Liturgy, then by the need to be critical.  I
personally find it sad and unfortunate, that so much energy is spent (in
this case between Jews) - in examining each other's "tsitsis", instead of
harnessing that same energy to creating "real", positive, good things in
this life.

So there's hope.  In the mean time I've learned many things from him.  We
talk on the phone occasionally, and I like to ask him questions about his
lifestyle, his beliefs, his spirituality. His kind acceptance of me, and his
respect for "where I'm coming from" has been the gateway for me to
understand his world a little better.

Shirona

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* * *  Singer / Songwriter and Teacher of Jewish Music * * *
          www.shirona.com
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