[HANASHIR:7685] RE: How hard do you work?

[QuelliPG <QuelliPG...>]

as a spouse of a Conservative rabbi who at age 39 had a heart attack and 
double bypass surgery (due to bad genes and high cholesterol, combined with 
an unhealthy diet and minimal exercise - altho the stress of the rabbinate 
probably didn't help matters) - I have so say the following... yes, the hours 
are lousy, there's no privacy in public unless you leave town (and even then 
sometimes...), and people expect you to be at their beck and call... however, 
we are blessed with a congregation who not only allows but encourages their 
clergy to take a weekly day off (well, sometimes emergencies happen), to take 
their full vacation time, to take time as needed for family stuff, and...now 
that my husband works out at the gym 5-6 days a week, they applaud him.  At 
the same time, it takes a person who has the "confidence" to say to their 
congregation that they need this time - my husband was able to do this and is 
respected for it.  He has also learned to say "no".  You can't do 
everything...  the best advice he got during his recovery was from a Reform 
colleague who had been thru something similar:  he said  "you care about your 
congregants, you do your best for your congregants...but you're not going to 
die for them!"   yeah, he still works too hard for my taste, and it's tough 
on the spouse and kids for sure,  but I think that all clergy need to learn 
from this - BEFORE they have a heart attack!  Any congregation that expects 
100% of your energy when you also have a family and your own needs to take 
care of isn't worth working for... at least they need to rethink their values 
and priorities.  
just my 2 dollars worth... :)
Raquel Gershon

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