[HANASHIR:6161] G-D IS IN

[elliotdp <elliotdp...>]

Dear Everyone:

Though I tried to attend Hava Nashira for three years, this was the
first year I actually made it.    I?ve been on the Hanashir list for
those three years, and after each Hava Nashira I?ve read the stream of
letters with outpourings of joy at what a wonderful time was had, and
how sad everyone was to leave, and how deeply bonded people felt to one
another through the experiences that had been shared.  Gee, that?s
great, I thought.

So, during my past few days at Hava Nashira, I was aware that, while I
was enjoying the program tremendously, I wasn?t having that ?deep
bonding? experience, or deep emotional experience that I had expected to
have after reading about how it?s been for others in past years.   I
thought ?this is NICE? but I don?t really see myself CRYING when I
leave.

Well, I was wrong.   The magic of Hava Nashira crept up on me in
mysterious ways, in ways I didn?t expect.  

It was the culmination of affection that developed between me and some
of the people I connected with, that by Sunday had turned into a special
bond,  new seedlings of friendship.   

It was the deep admiration and appreciation I feel toward the faculty,
for being so wise, so warm, so funny, so generous with their knowledge,
so down to earth and accessible as people, so sweet and welcoming to me
as a newcomer. 

It was the hundreds of nigunim and haunting new melodies swirling
through my head, learned in an atmosphere of camaraderie, and shared
passion for our communities and our traditions.    

It was quiet moments walking alone in the dark back to the cabin hearing
the wind rustle the leaves on the trees.   ?G-d is in,? it whispered.

It was needing to find the Tiferet building just because it was the ONLY
place a guy could take a shower that day, and having planned to then go
to another workshop somewhere else, changing my mind and deciding to
STAY in Tiferet for a moment to listen to Donny & Craig?s songwriting
workshop.   Thank G-D the septic system broke down, because otherwise I
would never have gone to Tiferet, stumbled into a workshop I hadn?t
planned to go to.   Craig & Donny?s stories and insights about writing
touched me in ways I never imagined I could be touched.   

Hearing Craig talk with such love and affection for ?Ha-Keves
Ha-Shisha-Asar? (?The Sixteenth Lamb?), the Israeli album of children?s
songs that he heard on a trip to Israel 20 years ago that changed his
life.  I always thought I was the only one, and never knew anyone else
who?s life had been so changed by that album, and who still loves it to
this day.   Hearing Shira sing the lullaby from that album, with her
perfect Israeli accent, and joining in on it with her.   

I had stumbled upon kindred spirits.  ?G-d is in,? they whispered.

Remembering how I discovered Debbie's "Ani Ma'amin" LP when I was coming
out as a Jew in college, and how I occasionally stumbled on this guy
named Craig Taubman who seemed to pop up in different places around L.A.
in the early '80s playing these beautiful Jewish folk/rock songs.   And
how, after all these years, after so many paths and diversions, I can
come back to Debbie's and Craig's  music and find both IT and YOU are
still there, as inspiring and creative as ever.   Though my Jewish life
has continued through these years, your music brings me back to a time
when it was all new and fresh and exciting, and you make it new and
exciting again.   Somehow a broken circle has been healed.   Something I
thought I had lost, I haven't lost at all.

I loved the grand singalongs, the services, the intense ruach, the group
energy.   But it was in the quiet, unexpected, more mundane moments that
I found my face would sometimes flush with emotion, and tears of joy
would well up in my eyes.    Sometimes the distinctions between the holy
and the mundane are false distinctions.  Because in the mundane  we can
find the deepest holiness.   And it ususally creeps up on us when we're
least expecting it.

And if life is like a movie, or a Broadway musical, the soundtrack that
was forever playing in the background for me this week was Billy Jonas?
?G-d is In.?    Once in a blue moon I discover a song that just totally
blows my mind, that speaks directly to me. And this was one of them.  
I?m taking that song with me, but more profound is how that song is like
a living thing that is taking ME with it!   Where we're going, I can't
even imagine yet.   (I better be careful, because if I let too many of
Billy's songs take me with them, I might wind up sending you a post card
from Mars!)


I thank you all  for welcoming me so warmly as a newcomer.   I learned
so much, on so many levels.    And even though I didn?t think I?d be one
to write a mushy, emotional e-mail to the list upon returning home, HERE
I AM, a humbled Jew, writing a mushy, emotional e-mail to the list!   
And with tears!

For through Donny, Ellen, Debbie, Jordan, Craig, Jeff, Josee --- through
Billy?s music, and through all of you ----  Hava Nashira finally really
got to me.   I come away, not only educated, but I?ve been touched very
deeply.   And now I know, once again, with all my soul and all my
heart,  that ?G-d is in.?

With love and appreciation,
Elliot Pilshaw

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